Was looking at a friend’s pictures of her newborn and suddenly this topic came to mind.
Some mummies receive what is known as a “push present”, a gift from the hubby to acknowledge her tough time delivering the baby. It’s usually a ring (some form of jewelry) or a branded bag…just something expensive. Well, obviously I never received anything like that. More so, I don’t need expensive gifts.
What do I really need/want? I gave it some thought. I want acknowledgment in the form of hugs and kisses or thank yous and just rubs on the back to signify that “I know you are going through a tough time but I’m with you.”
Sadly, not every hubby understands this.
Just this evening, I saw a mummy’s IG post on the postpartum rage that no one warned her about. The one where she would look at her sleeping hubby and start to feel angry. It’s not that the hubby is wrong to be sleeping and that baby only wants mummy. But, when mummy is tired and running on empty, everything just feels too much.
How many times I spent pumping milk in the wee hours of the morning while hubby is snoring away? How many times I struggled, tears threatening to spill, silently scrolling through Shopee to distract myself and convincing myself that I’m doing this for my baby? 这种辛苦你能了解吗？
And the worst part? When hubby says “but I need to sleep coz I have to work”. And then? Just coz mummy is not going to an office to “work”, pumping milk and seeing to baby’s needs is not “work”? Mummies are not some form of super humans. Another killer line: “You can don’t breastfeed (pump milk) if it’s too tiring, you know.” Wah, so we brought this upon ourselves? That’s where the resentment comes. My first thought: this kid is also yours, so please HELP to look after too. Daddy’s job is not just to contribute sperm to create the kid and that’s it. At the end of the day, even if hubby doesn’t exactly HELP, some acknowledgment that you see and feel what we go through is more than enough. It’s the appreciation that we want and need to keep us going.
But haha, I survived all this not once, but TWICE.
