Just had the SIP briefing this morning. Everytime I think about it, I fear. I thought about doing SIP in school. Sis said that it’s better to be attached to a company. She said you’ll go further, gain more experience. Yea…I do agree with her.

But I still fear. I always fear that someday I’ll just make this huge mistake at work and then I’ll be doomed. Or else I’m not sure about something and my supervisor won’t be happy. It’s like “you should have learnt this stuff in poly so how come you don’t know?”.

I find I’m just the usual, no exceptional flair in this course. I just clear whatever exams there are to clear. Yea…I do learn new stuff…*confused*

Sis said that if I keep fearing this and that, I will never get to try new things. It’s so easy to tell me to have more confidence. But I think most of the work will be on my part. It’s something I have to overcome myself.

I’m also seriously considering whether I should try signing up doing SIP overseas. There’s Australia, Finland, Hong Kong and Thailand. Apart from Thailand, I’m quite ok with the rest of the places.

I’ve always wanted to go on those student exchange programs. Yea…there is the learning part, classes and stuff. But the one thing that attracts me is that you can learn about the country’s culture at the same time. The differences and similiarities when compared with Singapore.

However, there are limited places in this overseas SIP and I doubt I stand a chance. I’m not considered wonderful in terms of academic work. I just clear them. No sky high grades or anything. I’m not very active in terms of other activities. Except that now I do get to help out or plan certain activities in JCG coz I’m in the subcomm. But JCG is not considered one of the huge, busy and recognised clubs.

Don’t even try to ask me to quit JCG coz it’s my interest ok. I won’t just go join something else to get way more points. Interest is a huge factor.

Perhaps I should talk to my parents about it tonight. Need to make a decision quick coz the submission for overseas SIP is 15 March.

*sigh* I hate making such decisions coz I cannot regret later. There’s no room for regret.