be like me

Late night entry. Supposed to post up the little pic I did for Shinya’s 23rd but I don’t want to lump it with my thoughts below. Just doesn’t seem right to. I’ll post up the pic later.

I read friends’ blogs saying that they’re so confused coz they are still single but they don’t wanna be. Else, they’re in love with someone but it’s sort of turning to be one-sided and well, they’re down in the dumps.

Seriously speaking, I’m kinda numb about love now. Before this, I couldn’t bring myself to tell people that I’ve been rejected before when they asked. It seemed too embarassing. But hell, so what? It happened twice. Yes, you read it right. TWICE.

After that, I told myself to stop believing in fairytales coz fuck manz, this is REALITY. No matter how you denied that looks didn’t matter, somehow they did. We live in a pick n’ choose world whether you like it or not.

I’m not ruling out the fact that I’m still attracted to certain guys. But the point is not to hope for much. Coz the more you hope, when rejection comes, it will cut deeper. I’m tired of feeling all torn up inside. So, the moment I feel myself summoning up those emotions, the next moment I’ll be blocking some out.

If it happens then well, I’ll just count myself lucky. Else, damnit…just move on. And don’t try to tell me, it’ll happen soon. How do you expect me to believe in that? *rolls eyes* For goodness sake, I’m already 21. Are you trying to gloat about it?

So to all my girl friends who are already attached, you lucky bitches. To my other girl friends who are and have been single (so far), take my advice…be like me, the disillusioned freak.

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