I don’t like to argue coz I always lose anyway. Even if I have to lose, it’s ok. But if the situation ends up with people getting unhappy, then what for?

This reminds me of an article I read in my Anthropology textbook about arguments. “Conflict and opposition are as necessary as cooperation and agreement, but the scale is off balance, with conflict and opposition outweighted.” (Tannen 52) So, arguments are a way of getting better understanding and solving certain problems. “But with most arguments, little is resolved, worked out, or achieved when two people get angrier and less rational by the minute. When you’re having an argument with someone, you’re usually not trying to understand what the other person is saying, or what in their experience leads them to say it. Instead, you’re readying your response: listening for weaknesses in logic to leap on, points you can distort to make the other person look bad and yourself to look good.” (Tannen 54) In short, you just want to win.

Although I don’t really buy that totally, I think there is some truth to it.

By the way, that article is by Deborah Tannen, titled “Fighting for Our Lives”, and is found in “Annual Editions Anthropology 07/08”.

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