One year ago, I felt what it’s really like to lose someone. Sis has always been wondering why I’m so emotionless. Yes, even I surprised myself when I could not control my tears. They were tears of guilt. Up till the day you left us, I was complaining about you. I do not take back what I felt because you indeed were a difficult patient. I only feel sorry that perhaps I should have been a little nicer and tolerant.
No matter what, you are my grandma and I love you. However much I showed my displeasure in your final days, deep down I have always respected you as my elder and admired your courage. You always treasured family togetherness. When Dad quarreled with uncle, you felt heartbroken because siblings should love each other and not fall apart. You taught me to love and treasure my parents, my family.
I felt a certain kind of happiness when I heard you wish Sis that she would find a good partner – someone who would take care of her during our last Chinese New Year together. I have found someone too. He takes care of me and respects me. Although it is still too early to tell what will happen in the future, we are working on strenthening our relationship. I wish you could see him.
I am now studying in USA. I am still a little unsure about what I want to do in the future. But, no matter what, I know you will give your blessings and tell me to study hard.
Continue to watch over us from heaven. Although you aren’t physically here anymore, you will always be around coz like Mum says, you are our guardian angel.