Wow wee. All I can say about the interview was that it felt like one major grilling session.

I walked into the interview room, nervous yet excited but with just the right amount of confidence. Ready to face the 5 interviewers. Yet halfway through the interview, I felt my confidence slipping away. My mind was in a daze, full of thoughts as I walked out of the interview room.

Perhaps the course manager was just trying to act like a difficult person just to see how I react. Maybe he’s really like that as a person. Yet I felt a little irritated. You see, he was trying to joke in a “sarcastic” manner. He also twisted some of my words…in a way. If he’s really trying to put me down, I’m NOT stupid. You think by laughing and trying to make it seem like a joke, I do not sense it? I do not understand what you’re trying to say? Here I am trying very hard to answer your question, there you are trying to make a joke out of everything I say. That surely is no way to lift the tension.

The way he said things. Bringing up all the worst case senarios, made it feel like it’s just one huge mistake for me to sign up for OSIP. That was when I felt my confidence slipping away. I was trying very hard to hold on to whatever confidence I had left. I know that once I lose my confidence, it really does show. And all will be lost.

Shucks! Something came to my mind only after I walked out. They kept stressing the fact that OSIP is so darn different and important that what if I feel frustrated with it halfway? What would I do? Asked what I wanted out of this whole OSIP thing. Why not normal SIP? The thing that came into mind is that so? Isn’t it the same with SIP? Just like you say…what happens if I feel frustrated with OSIP halfway? I can equally feel the same with SIP isn’t it? Isn’t that logical? And that led me to think that you guys feel that way about OSIP is the fact that if the student failed to perform for OSIP, it will spoil TP’s image. Image concious…superficial…blah blah blah.

I’m sorry to say that sometimes it’s really very sad. You really can’t be the real you. You can’t really say what you think or feel at such situations. Coz people only like to hear the good stuff. You must speak only the “correct” things or else you’ll be branded forever as a bad person. But what IS the “correct” thing?

Oh well…it’s over. I did try. I still thank the lecturers for bringing up issues that I’ve never really considered before. Life is full of choices. But sometimes you don’t really have a choice in something. No matter what, you gotta deal with it. Make the best out of it.

Hehe…I finally got Elizabeth Wurtzel’s “More, Now, Again” from Borders.