a confusion of emotions

I received 2 letters from DePaul University. Something which I have been looking forward to. I opened the first. I was happy. They acknowledged that they have received my application. I didn’t think much of the second, thinking that it was just some information during the wait of the processing of applications. My heart sank. They rejected me.

To tell the truth, I have never taken rejection well. Quite ironic of me to say that since I have been rejected before (not for school matters, some other things) and I seem ok. It’s not ok. It’s popping your happy bubble that you survive on. I am inwardly cursing myself.

For a minute, I was flying high. And the next moment, they crushed the happy picture I painted for myself.

I actually wanted to take a picture of my happiness that arrived a few days ago. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign accepted me. I received the package. But now I’m kinda hurting and I can’t be bothered to anymore.

I had made up my mind. DePaul was my first choice. U of I was second. I wanted very much to attend DePaul coz then I could take up Japanese studies. I wish I didn’t hope so much.

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