my writing sucks

[edited on September 19, 2007 @ 7.56pm]

I’ve calmed down and bounced back up (as usual). After emailing Mr Claborn and getting some doubts clarified, I guess there was some misunderstanding on my part so I’ve accepted that lousy grade. I mean, what can I do but accept it and move on?

I’m not sure whether it was the outburst (below) or did everyone just get some ESP powers bestowed on them? Yea, like a few people messaged me on MSN to ask how I am. First was Shaz, then Don (whose other intention was to get help for css) and Kelvin sensei. Thanks guys. You don’t know how much that little chat meant to me yesterday. Thanks, Raynor, for that little encouragement.

Thanks, Per, for always listening to my whining. I’m sure there was a certain helplessness you felt for not being able to be physically here for me but really, you’ve been there for me emotionally. Also, please don’t worry so much about me. I may be much of a loner but if ever I don’t feel safe, I will open my mouth to ask someone to accompany me. Besides, I try not to stay out after it gets dark. Thanks, Pwen, for offering to help me out with my writing. Only thing is if I send the drafts to you, please don’t laugh ok? Oh, and STOP tempting me with talk about food. I miss fishball mee so much already…

[edited]

The tears are threatening to spill. I can’t believe I actually held on all the way from Illini Hall back to my room. Heck, I should just cry since it will make me feel better anyway.

It’s like I don’t know myself anymore. My writing sucks and I know it. I don’t know how to prove a point and I’m just rambling on, throwing in all sorts of descriptive words. There’s no formula to memorise for writing. It’s just part of you. You can’t try to copy someone’s style coz it’s just not you. It’s like if someone throws you into a deep pool, you better learn how to swim or else.

I thought I was on the right track after the peer evaluation and the email, but it seems not. It’s only the first paper and I got a lousy B-. Not to mention, tons of negative comments and underlined sentences filled the paper.

It also sucks that I have no close friends around and I can’t call a close friend (ya, like on the other side of world) coz the stupid line lives on credits and I have no money to pay the international fees. I’m not looking for false hope, I’m looking for a shoulder to cry on.

What’s the point of hoping to major in Advertising and entering College of Communications when you can’t communicate through writing?

Ya, like stop fucking whining about it already.

大丈夫じゃない…

2 thoughts on “my writing sucks

  1. Hi there,

    Welcome to the University life though. It sure is intimidating, but I don’t think it’s just hopeless. Yea, cry it out if it needs be, but know when to stop though.

    I remember entering University with the same fears you are experiencing now, though your situation is worsen with you on foreign grounds. But guess what, you still can talk to your best friend. I didn’t have any friends who can listen to me ranting about uni life. And even if I have any, they are probably in camp serving the red dot. Well, you still have the Skype alternative.

    As for writing and communicating, it takes time. Just keep on writing, even if it sucks. My writing couldn’t be better too, I just keep going on, hopefully people bothered to read. My writings are always littered with typos and glaring grammatical errors. As for style, find sometime searching for your personality.

    Cheer up!

    elisia says: Ya, I know how to bounce back up. I’ve calmed down since last night. I emailed my TA and got some doubts clarified.

  2. I’m willing to help you out with your writing. Only an email away! And no, of course I won’t be insulted if you decline. 😀

    elisia says: Thanks. I will send it to you if I need some opinion. But, don’t laugh ar…I know my writing is not great horz.

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