It ‘s been about one and a half months I’ve started working in a permanent job now. Boy, has it been a tough ride. The first two weeks were like heaven — not much to do. Then, the work came pouring in. Some days I am left feeling a little overwhelmed, but all I can do is tell myself to carry on. I think part of how I am feeling stems from the fact I am a newbie. Sometimes I feel like I’m feeling my way around in the dark. There are times when I am kicking myself for doing things so slowly, but right at the back of my mind I have to remind myself that it is all part of learning. The good thing is that my boss and colleagues are nice, but sometimes I just can’t help feeling a tad dumb because they seem to know what to do all the time.
That’s it isn’t it? I complain a lot, but at the end of the day I hang in there and everything turns out fine. I amaze myself at the end of it all. I’m not a quitter. No matter how bad it is, I will always remember what the late Prof. Goodman said. He told me that if I felt I didn’t understand something, someone else probably had the same question but wasn’t voicing his/her doubt as well. That made me feel a whole lot better — that I wasn’t alone in the dark. I also remember what my ex-colleague told me. It is precisely the things we are afraid of that we must do. If not, we will forever be in our comfort zone and not learn new things.
Yes yes, I can do it. Go me.