reason

I know what you want to say next. It’s all too familiar. Too many times have I been warned, sometimes bordering on being threatened that you have an uncontrollable rage and I should just shut up. But what I want to know then is whether deficiency overrules reason? Frankly speaking, sometimes I wonder whether you are just using it as an excuse to shut me up.

It hurts that I can’t argue my point. And leads me to wonder whether we live to please others only or also ourselves? That we have to give the politically correct answers and not what we actually feel. I remember myself typing these exact same words for a friend.

When I do things by myself so as to prevent myself from getting into situations where we end up quarrelling, I get scolded as being selfish. When I let you do things first so that I wouldn’t be scolded as being selfish, I point it out to you, instead of seeing a little smile as a thank you, “I never asked you to do this for me” gets shoved back in my face. When you point out other’s mistakes, they are expected to listen and reflect. When we point out your mistakes, we are expected to shut up. Where then does reason come in?

Before I’m being accused something I’m not (something which I hate most), you think I do not realise but sometimes I do. I know there are times when I’m being わがまま. Then the times when I don’t realise, you point it out with reason and I agree and reflect.

I’m not expecting you to say you’re sorry coz given your strong nature, even if you felt a little sorry you would choose to remain silent or worse, still try to argue the parts where you’re right. Just as you know me in some ways, I know you in some ways too.

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