i went on a rollercoaster ride with Misako and Nissy?!

I had a strange yet nice dream two nights ago. It involved members of AAA, Misako and Nissy in particular.

So it seemed AAA was having a concert and I was getting a cab from somewhere to go to the concert venue. Lo and behold, Misako and Nissy were in the queue just before me. Since we were probably all going to the same venue, how about we share a cab? I asked and Misako agreed, and we all boarded the cab.

While in the cab, Misako and I started talking (no idea in what language) but soon we were like old friends. Nissy was for some reason being all sullen and refused to join in the conversation. Misako told me that he’s like that and to ignore him. In the dream, I felt surprised and a tinge of disappointment as it was so unlike him on stage — always bouncing around with energy and being all chatty.

Anyway, soon we reached the concert venue. A couple of fans were already there and started running up to Misako, asking for pictures with her. I was kinda brushed aside but somehow she remembered me and got me to be in the picture too. The fans were all squealing and disturbing this outdoor band performance so we got shoo-ed away.

As we were walking off, Misako suddenly pulled out a concert ticket. Strangely, it had this coupon for a free ride on the rollercoaster at the concert venue. (Yea, strange…like what?! Is this a concert or funfair now??? And why the hell would Misako have a ticket when she is the artiste that will be performing???) She asked me if I’ll go sit the rollercoaster with her and Nissy. I felt so happy.

Soon the rollercoaster ride ended and it was time for her and Nissy to go get ready for the concert. We walked together to the hall. Just as she opened the door to the hall, I took a peek in and saw the other AAA members already there and getting ready. At that moment, Shin-chan came out and wanted to get something. I was so excited and said: “Hi, Shin-chan!” (This time I was sure I spoke in English as I knew he understood English.) At the same time, Shin-chan said: “Hi, I’m Shin!” Maybe he thought it polite to introduce himself since I was Misako’s friend.

And then I woke up. Argh. Would have loved to talk to Shin-chan more. That is like my real life dream too. Ah well.

Hmmm…sure as hell hope that Nissy is not all sullen in real life. That would really be a huge disappointment.

thoughts about me and lolita fashion

Amidst all the flurry in the local lolita community for tomorrow’s big event, I couldn’t help but slow down and think about my own lolita journey — specifically wearing wigs.

I’ve never worn one. I just don’t have the guts to. Admittedly, wigs are great coz then I can probably have any hair colour I want without having to dye/bleach my own hair. Yay for pink ombre hair! I can have the braids I so love but can’t tie on my own hair. Again, I just don’t have the guts to take that first step. It’s really not about me. I’ld do it anyway…just that I don’t think I can handle the reaction from family members.

Here’s why. Lolita fashion is a part of me which I enjoy. I’ve never really seen it as strange but I can’t say the same for others. It is something out of the ordinary for them so I really don’t blame them if they make it a big deal. It’s just that sometimes I wish they would treat it as normal and not pay like super big attention to it.

Case in point, once I was hurrying out the door to a lolita meet. A family member stopped me for some pictures. Erm…nothing really wrong with that but I think the whole point was coz I was dressed DIFFERENTLY. Imagine if I was in a wig. Oh gosh, I feel like all the why questions would start flying out and honestly, I don’t want to launch into a lengthy explanation on why.

Sigh. I am weird like that and I guess it’ll take a long long time before I’m mentally ready to handle that. For now, I’ll just stick to my crappy hair.

i dreamt i talked to shin-chan

There’s no fancy way of putting it, but simply, I dreamt I talked to Shin-chan from AAA. Not as a fan at a fan meet, but as a friend.

We were sitting in the back seat of a car, waiting for some friends or family? Not certain who we were waiting for. We were listening to some Japanese music. I recall Perfume and some other artistes. I suppose it was our first time talking to each other coz when I tried to make small talk, he seemed rather aloof. People would know that the true blue introvert of me doesn’t like to make awkward small talk. Anyway, I asked him which college was he in. He answered quite curtly like he was uncomfortable revealing a detail of his personal life. But then, I hit jackpot when I started commenting on how there must be a couple of Asian supermarkets around his college just like how mine did. That’s like a god-send for students coming from Asian countries. He started opening up a bit more when we talked about that. Weird though, I commented at some point that he was Taiwanese. LIKE WHY WOULD I SAY HE’S TAIWANESE??? I must have quite a few Taiwanese friends, that’s why.

And that was all. I know it was a rather blah dream but it was a good one. I am an introvert but I do crave to get to know people on a one-on-one personal level. And yes, I would love to talk to Shin-chan one day and get to know him as a friend.

back again

Back again…well, kinda. Trying to go back to blogging while juggling mummy duties. It hasn’t been a whole lot easy. I tried a few times but failed, so I hope this is the last and successful attempt. At first it was just being mum to Emilee. Then my computer had to die on me. So I’m pretty much bound to what this new laptop has (which is practically starting from nothing) until I find a way to get my old files out from the old hard disk.

I’m still microblogging on Dayre and the updates there are more frequent than here coz I can do everything from my phone.

dear AAA

Dear members of AAA,

The high touch (high five) session was a pleasant surprise during the fan meeting, but it went by so fast that I couldn’t really register everything. Frankly speaking, after Chiaki, it was all a blur. I wish there was more time to interact with each member because there’s just too much to say to you guys. But we all know that this is impossible hence, I decided to write what I wanted to say. Writing helps me articulate what I want to say so much better because knowing the introverted self I am, my mind would have drawn a blank and I would have been unable to utter anything anyway.

I am not the fan who knows every song lyric by heart. I am not the fan who can identify every song and match its title correctly. I am not the fan who would clamour for attention (although I sometimes wish I had the guts to do so). But I am the fan who has been following AAA since its debut. I am the fan who has seen AAA grow from just another dance/vocal group to artistes that are worthy to perform on an international stage. I am the fan who has seen the struggles and also the positive changes of the group.

AAA has definitely grown and improved musically and vocally through the years. I still remember the days when some members seemed to be merely background dancers. Now, everyone has solo parts in the songs.

Leader: You were the first member that caught my eye because I remember you were one of Ayu’s dancers in her concert.

Shin-Chan: You are my favourite member in the group. Even though you are my favourite, it was tough watching you perform at first. If ever there is to be an award for the member who has improved the most vocally, it would go to you. I’m so glad that you finally have solo lines in songs now. You may not be the strongest in vocals, but you definitely have other gifts. I am impressed by your command of English and your willingness to converse in English with us fans who are non-native speakers of Japanese. It was even more surprising to learn that you don’t drink by choice. Me too! It takes a lot to stand firm in what you believe in when everyone else around you is doing it. Respect!

Hidaka: Kamisama! Lol. I guess you’ve found your comfortable spot in the group (and also in fans’ hearts as the rap god.

Nissy: Gosh, you need to improve your English. But thanks for entertaining us with your funny antics. Lol.

Misako: You look so much healthier this time round compared to last year. Please take care!

Chiaki: You’re the cutest member of the group! ❤️

Shuta: I’ve always wondered about this…are you into the Korean look/style? Lol.

Thank you for coming back to Singapore! I really enjoyed myself at the concert and fan meet. I feel really blessed as I’ve always wanted to attend an AAA concert but thought it would just be a dream. I guess it’s really a dream come true. I’m looking forward to more great music from you guys. And of course, more concerts in Singapore in the future.


PS: There’s lots more great hawker food in Singapore other than chicken rice that you gotta try. Chilli crab, black and white carrot cake, hokkien mee (hokkien noodles), bak kut teh (pork ribs soup), bbq sambal stingray, orh luak (oyster omelette), sugar cane juice, that $1 ice-cream in bread, etc.

my first hospital stay

I guess when life gets a little too comfortable, you’re being thrown some lemons to spice things up a little. But that’s how life never gets too boring because there are always challenges for you to navigate through.

At my last check up last Wednesday, I received the most horrible of news. I had gained weight which was good, but baby is still not growing well and putting on the necessary weight. In fact, baby’s weight is now slightly off the chart at 1.61kg when she should be 1.8kg. Doppler scans showed that everything else was fine except her waist measurement. More importantly, the amniotic fluid is a little low but still considered normal and the blood flow from the placenta is good. So, doctors really have no idea why baby is not growing well.

I have to go for weekly scans now to make sure the blood flow to baby does not drop. If any time the blood flow drops, they will induce labour. If not, they will still induce labour at 37 weeks just as a precaution to make sure that baby has a better chance of survival. So yup, baby can be out any time from now till the week of 9 November. The minute I heard that I could be delivering baby at 34 weeks (which is this week by the way), my mind went into a mess. Baby’s room is not even totally ready. I haven’t packed my hospital bag. Oh my goodness, there’s still so much outstanding stuff to do! I was just thanking my lucky stars that I had completed the last minute buying of clothes and bath tub just a week ago. But still!

If baby is to be out at 34 weeks, I needed to be given two steroid jabs to help with the development of baby’s lungs to cope with the outside world. Because I have gestational diabetes (GD), the steroid jabs could cause my blood sugar readings to spike which is a danger to both baby and me. Therefore, I was warded for observation. I think everyone is worried about how I’m taking to all this, but trust me, I have learnt to take things easy and take things as they come. There is no point in asking “why me?” If God has willed that I am to go through these challenges in life, then so be it. He has his reasons. Besides, like I said before, I think God has been really fair. While other mummies have to endure horrible morning sickness, pains and aches, I went through almost nothing. GD and this are my only challenges throughout my pregnancy.

[Cross posted entry on MUMMY TO BABY]

life with GD (part 2)

I am slowly learning to accept my condition. While it is a quite a hassle to change my food intake schedule, I try to find and focus on the positive points in this whole exercise of monitoring my blood sugar. Although I’m told to only take and record down my blood sugar readings twice a week, I’m doing it for more days just so I can experiment with eating different foods. This helps me find out what foods and at what amounts are ok. It is still tough when people snack on potato chips and eat desserts in front of me, but I can resist the temptation quite well.

Just so you know how strict my food intake schedule is:

9am — Breakfast * (2 servings carbohydrates)
12pm — Lunch * (5 servings carbohydrates)
3-4pm — Tea (1 serving carbohydrates)
7.30pm — Dinner * (5 servings carbohydrates)
10pm — Supper ** (1 serving carbohydrates)

* signifies to take my blood sugar reading before and after the meal
** signifies to take my blood sugar reading after my meal or before I sleep

Of course I do take proteins, fruit and vegetables during lunch and dinner, but carbohydrates are what I have to watch most. Carbohydrates cause sugar spikes in a shorter period of time as compared to proteins. In the booklet I’m given, the carbohydrates food list includes bread, cereals, starchy vegetables, legumes, milk and fruit.

It’s necessary for me to stick to these timings for food intake as I don’t want to have huge sugar spikes at any moment. So, I have to space out my meals and make sure I don’t eat more than what I should during each meal.

My hubby and I were quite surprised to learn about the servings of different foods required per meal. For example, two matchbox sized pieces of meat is enough to meet the protein requirement per meal. Six servings of protein is the maximum requirement needed in a day. One serving of lean meat is about 30g. We looked at each other and imagined the amount of steak we eat each time. He can eat 200g of steak at one go. That’s already slightly more than the required amount needed in a day. In other words, we have been overeating for a meal or a day.

You may be wondering if I feel full after lunch or dinner since the amount of food eaten during each meal seems to be very little. The answer is yes. I do feel hungry faster, but that’s where tea and supper come in to fill the gaps.

[Cross posted entry on MUMMY TO BABY]

life with GD

My life just got a little more complicated.

I meant to blog earlier about the last baby seminar I attended, but things got a little busy for me. By the time I was ready to write, I got hit by some bad news. I had gone for the Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT) and the results weren’t good. I am diagnosed with gestational diabetes.

While I was half prepared for the bad news, I must say that it did shake me up a little. I couldn’t help but wonder why me. Things have been going really well for this pregnancy and now I’m being thrown into some crap situation. But the rational side of me knows that there is no use asking why because God has his plan and to be quite honest, I have already gotten the sweeter end of the deal so far (e.g. no morning sickness, no aches and pains, etc.).

I am grateful for the support I’ve received from family, friends and other mummies. Their encouraging words help me to get on with the slightly inconvenient change in life — planning my meals, watching my diet very closely, pricking my fingers seven times a day for twice a week. Yet, their encouragement can only get me so far.

It is not about bearing with this slight inconvenience for another three months. Three months? I am very sure I can do it. I’ve been resisting the temptation of eating sweet food since week 8 of my pregnancy (did pinch a little now and then, but otherwise, I’ve been quite disciplined), what’s another three months? Nothing much to me. It’s the afterwards that I fear, my friends. Two to six weeks after my pregnancy, I will need to go for another GTT to determine if I’m a regular diabetic to begin with. This is exceptionally scary for me. Due to my family history, I am at higher risk of developing diabetes.

Imagine not being able to enjoy sweet food and desserts all your life. Imagine giving up your favourite sweet dessert for good. Now, you tell me whether it’s scary or not? I don’t even know how my mum deals with her once in a blue moon can of Coke Zero or annual birthday cake only.

It is very frustrating…

Ok, back to planning my meals for today.

[Cross posted entry on MUMMY TO BABY]