if i could kill, i would

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I’m angry. I’m angry. I’m angry.

I’m angry that I chose to believe what those people said at the election day. All the talk about food festival was a good idea. All the talk about we want other people to know about Singapore and SSA. BULLSHIT. I don’t see the passion.

And…it’s making me lose my own drive and passion. One thing I realised from internship, all the excitement and high hopes will not go through unless there are people to share and support it. It takes two hands to clap. I don’t have the energy to keep up without any support.

Maybe I’m having too many things on my plate. James Scholar, trying to get a job at Illini Media, SSA, J-Net, AAF… I already gave up my dream of coordinating the Lolita segment for the fashion show. I couldn’t talk to Jenny on time and I…simply can’t do it all by myself.

Thanks to Tiarra, I finally realised why it has been so quiet on my blog. The captcha code thingy is not showing and so, no one can comment. Yea, my blog does not receive a truckload of comments, but recently it has been too silent…like something’s wrong. ARGH. See, one more thing to settle.

The aquarium is also waiting for me to settle it. It’s not that I find it a chore, but ARGH…where’s all my time? Why do I have to use my time to settle people’s shit? WHY?!

hate the B

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Forgot to report on my grades in the previous post.

ADV410 – A
ADV411 – B
JAPN202 – A+
JOUR200 – A
MS320 – A

Total GPA = 3.82
Cumulative GPA = 3.73

I HATE THE B. I thought the extra credit would have helped, but it turned out that I had been mistaken. Extra credit is 5 points to the exam and not 5% to the overall grade. 🙁 Our (pain in the ass) project got A-.

Deary says my cumulative GPA earns me magna cum laude. Whatever that is. Sounds like the ice-cream…Magnum. HAHAHA. Haiz…still far from the dream GPA 4.0.

And maybe I should try to be a James Scholar afterall. Then I can get an extra tassel on my gown when I graduate and I don’t have to tag the photo as “chao mugger, chao mugger, not chao mugger, chao mugger.” (I’m the one who’s tagged “not chao mugger“) Why? Coz the rest are all scholars. They will surely get some honors thingy or Bronze tablet or some other shit. No, no…I’m not a chao mugger. Really. *shakes head*

fashion, lolita, culture

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So, I had a presentation on fashion and clothing for MS320: Popular Culture class which partly featured lolita fashion. For that, I wore a BTSSB Pink JSK. The first thing friends asked was what was the occasion. Do I need a reason to dress lolita? I mean, I’ve built up a wardrobe of lolita dresses, isn’t it high time I wore them?

I was kind of worried this morning when I left home coz it started to drizzle. Might I remind everyone that umbrellas do not work here. The wind is too strong and more often than not, you’ll end up with an upturned brolly. I managed to get to class dry, but 10 minutes late.

It took me 3 hours before I realised why I was getting a blister on one foot and not the other. The buckle was adjusted tighter for that foot. :sweat:

I cannot imagine how those girls tahan wearing lolita in Singapore. Today was about 16-21 degrees Celsius and I almost died. It was so hot in the classrooms. Was trying hard not to perspire, but I did. Luckily I did not wear the long-sleeved dress.

after spring break

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My ADV410 group mate, Suguru went to Las Vegas during Spring break. He watched a Cirque du Soleil show! Damn…I’m so jealous. He told me tickets weren’t cheap though. Uh oh, there goes my dream of watching all the shows the next time I go there. There are at least 6 shows, how to even choose which to watch?!

PS: I’m amused by how people act when they want a position in a club. Suddenly those who weren’t active come alive. Do I smell some sucking up to people going on? Hell yea.

newbies and elitists

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So I have a new assignment for Journalism class which is to interview a professional journalist.

I spent a night scouring online newspapers and plucking out names. I was wondering whether what I was doing would be fruitful at all. Suddenly I had a brilliant idea to look for an LJ community for Journalism. Was thinking that maybe professional people lurk around such communities to have an idea of what people are talking about. It would certainly be easier to post my question there and have people respond, rather than emailing people I don’t know and having my email not being answere.

I found one and posted my request, crossed my fingers that either someone who worked for the newspapers/tv/radio or someone who knew someone else who worked in that line and could sort of introduce that person to respond.

Well, a few people responded. Of which, one was working for a newspaper. She PMed me. The first reply on my post was by someone who sort of chided me for not doing my own research. Ok, I did. It’s not like I didn’t do my research and then just came round for easy answers. And I thought what I did was perfectly fine. I did that for my first story. I wanted to interview a certain group of people, I emailed them and they didn’t respond. However, I knew someone who might know them. So I asked my friend for help. She became sort of like the middle-man.

Just today, I checked back on the community and saw an angry post by someone who said that he was tired of high-school kids/young adults posting their request and then not bothering to thank everyone that replies. He said that some people had to spend time looking up the answers.

The point is I get rather annoyed when people act like they are elitists. You help because you want to, not because you want something in return. What makes you think that just because the kid didn’t say thank you means he is ungrateful? Yes, even if the kid is ungrateful, that is his loss. With that kind of attitude, he may not get too far in life.

I can’t stand it when people who have been in something for so long, think they are elite and go around jumping on newbies. I’ve seen that in other communities too. If you think a newbie is on the wrong track, point it out nicely. Don’t be so mean about it. You were once a newbie too right?

By the way, a word for elitists. If you want people’s respect, you have to be humble yourself.

education system

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You wanna know what’s the difference between the Singapore education system and American education system? I experienced it this morning in MS320 (Popular Culture) class.

Our TA, Ms Randolph was going through the lesson slides, we did some group discussion… About 15 minutes to the end of the class, she asked a question referring to the readings we were supposed to have done before class. Silence, no one volunteered to answer. She realised something was amiss and asked who had done the readings. No one except for maybe one or two put their hands up. That was it. It pissed her off real badly. She said it wasn’t fair that she did her part and we didn’t do our part, she proceeded to shut down the computer and said we were welcome to leave.

If you’re going “Isn’t that good? Class end early lehz,” you really haven’t grown up. I think the whole class felt pretty guilty after that. That’s the difference about the education system here, lecturers aren’t going to spoon-feed you with answers. In Singapore, when the lecturer asks a question and there’s silence, he/she ends up filling that silence with the answer or forcing someone to give the answer. Here, it’s different. You’re expected to participate in class, there’s really no other way to it. The lecturer does his/her part, you fulfill yours as a student.

the disney dream

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I went to the informational session and was disappointed to learn that the Disney College Program is not a summer internship program, but a semester program. The catch is I may or may not earn college credit, which means I may end up having to take one more semester (and become a super senior) or cram everything and still graduate on time.

The program sounds really good though it seems to be more suited for students who have not stepped out into the working world. The jobs are mostly lower level stuff like working in restaurants/snack counters, ushers for rides, custodians, wardrobe unit staff etc. But, they say it opens doors to other higher level jobs within Disney or elsewhere. How? You either work your way up in Disney or companies elsewhere would recognise that you have worked with a famous brand…sort of like riding on Disney’s fame.

Still, it sounds really really good. How cool is it to be known to work for Disney? So COOL right? :laugh: Oh and the perks, free admission for all rides plus discounts for other related stuff.

On the other hand, if I forget about this, I can consider an exchange program.

Choices. Choices. Maybe I should go “whine” to people and see what they say…heehee…

something good will follow

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Lionel’s theory was right. When something bad happens, something good will follow.

My group’s phase 1 of our final project for ADV410 scored full marks. I was so worried that we weren’t on the right track. We’re supposed to come up with a PR plan for Parkland College. 🙂

I went to my TA’s office hours for JOUR200. He said there wasn’t any major issues with my speech story and it looked good. Yay! 🙂

Oh…and my lolita shoes have arrived! So exciting… Going to collect them on Saturday since I missed the delivery this morning.

first ADV411 exam: CUI

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I’m screwed. I screwed up my first ADV411 exam.

I had the urge to say to the prof, “I think I know what you meant by ‘students usually don’t do well on the first exam’,” when I went up to hand in my paper.

😥

I haven’t been doing too well in Japanese class too coz I hardly look through the stuff before class. My structure quizzes have been getting a lot of checks (no plus) lately. Especially for the recent material, I’m often highly confused in class about the polite/plain positive/negative forms.

This is what usually happens…

フェン先生: (refers to question 9 on homework sheet) りょうしんによく電話をかけたから、書かないんです。
Me: (thinking inside) Why is it not かける since the behind is in present tense? (thinking…thinking…thinking…not listening)
(Meanwhile, フェン先生 has gone on to ask a question to the class. He is waiting for someone to answer it. My subconscious heard the question.)
フェン先生: プアさん。
Me: (thinking inside) SHIT. モウさん、たすけて!

Yea, I kinda suck at the recent material covered so I really appreciate not being called to answer questions. When I’m not listening, I’m actually trying to figure out something and you can practically see the question marks popping out of my head.

all you have to do is just keep swimming

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My kiasu-ness proved useful coz I went to my TA’s office hours twice to make sure my story had no major mistakes, I received an A for my first Journalism assignment. :kirakira:

I am trying hard not to slack, but it’s tiring to keep swimming against the current. I’m already behind with my readings and there are exams and major assignments almost every week. I’m wondering whether it’s due to the fact that I’m taking more core courses this semester or it’s just my imagination.

Gone are the days of me actively participating (or maybe acting like a smart aleck) in Japanese class. I hardly even study for my quizzes anymore. Usually I just do it before class nowadays. Which is bad coz the material is getting harder and I’m just confusing myself with all the forms. I thought I had the て-form nailed after Xincai taught me the song, now comes the た-form and what-not. I am going to die…