high school romance

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I used to go crazy on manga but stopped for a while since it became a little too costly to keep up. Instead, I turned to online scanlations. Yes, I broke the cardinal sin of turning to online English scanlations, but hey, I read English much faster than I do with Chinese.

Well, it lasted for a while until I realised that the online scanlations take awfully long to be updated. Unlike anime where the subbed episode gets uploaded in a matter of days, scanlations take months to have new updates and they could be slow by at least five books. Not that I don’t understand that scanlations take time to produce, but I don’t think I can wait that long… So, recently I bought a new manga series. 花君と恋する私 (Hana-kun to Koisuru Watashi) is a typical high school romance shoujo manga. (I’ve said thousand of times before that I’m a sucker for such manga/anime.)

I’ve read up to book four where the couple have just started dating. They both feel a little awkward…

(Will type the exact words in Chinese.)

Hana-kun: 我的心情，也跟你差不多。没什么真实感，觉得很紧张。感觉象是在。。。做梦一样。

(Translation: My feelings are about the same as yours. So surreal; I feel anxious. It feels like…I’m dreaming.)

Oh my goodness. I think I really felt that the first time I got together with my hubby. He was not my first love, but it was definitely my first relationship. The day after we got together, I was in an Asian Literature class and we were going through a lover’s poem. My TA called on me to figure out whether the narrator is male or female. To help me, she asked if I have a boyfriend. For a minute, I was stunned. Then it hit me. Yes…yes, I am attached. And suddenly I got this rush of emotions that made me feel a little embarrassed.

You must understand that I never thought I would find somebody. Me, the plain Jane. The one, whose sister said I might as well marry the computer since I never went out to socialise and was always stuck in front of the computer. The one, who was rejected twice. It all felt too surreal.

Oh well, but that was years ago. I am now happily married.

i choose

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“We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately, I would say, for most of our circumstances.”
— Stephen R. Covey “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”

In the midst of thinking of how to help Sis overcome her problems, I re-read the first chapter of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” about proactivity. When I came to the part about responsibility and choosing, I started to think about myself and my own relationship.

I think I’ve found the answer to what people have been asking my all this while. I know some people have this question in their mind (especially Sis) about my relationship with the boyfriend. “He is your first boyfriend, how are you so sure he is the one?” “There are so many fish out in the sea, you haven’t had a variety of experiences with different people.” “Remember the time he hurt you and you cried so bad, are you sure you want to be with him?”

While we have had our share of quarrels and there’s still a lot more challenges ahead before we commit ourselves to a life together (aka marriage), I don’t see how not we can be together. I used to retort back by saying that I look at my relationship with him as long-term, but I still get the “how are you so sure that he’s the one” thrown back in my face. Now, I tell you why. I CHOOSE to make my relationship work and turn out the way I want it to be. Not saying that I am selfish and make it out to be the fairytale ending I want it to be, but that I know what I want as an outcome (a life together) therefore I work towards it. And that’s not to say that it will be a smooth road ahead, but we will work to overcome the obstacles and face the challenges together as they come along.

since coming home

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Wow, the last time I updated my blog was in April. Well, I’m now back in Singapore for the summer holiday, living my other life. I pretty much got used to the life in USA that I felt a little disoriented when I came home. The culture, environment, and mannerism of people are all different.

Backtracking a little…the last few days of school in mid-May was spent finishing up projects and papers. The day before leaving Champaign, deary and I were packing up all our stuff in the apartment, moving them to my aunt’s place, and cleaning up the apartment for return. Cleaning up the apartment took longer than what we had expected. Among the Singaporeans staying in Goodwin-Stoughton, our apartment was probably the neatest and cleanest to begin with. It’s not like we held parties and trashed the place. We probably didn’t need to clean up that much, but we were afraid that Ramshaw would dump a huge cleaning bill on us. In the end, I think we returned the apartment cleaner than what was given to us when we just moved it.

Finished cleaning the apartment at midnight, that left us with only a few hours to pack our bags for home. Packing bags to go home has always been a pain for me simply coz I have too much barang. Got at least a few hours of sleep. Definitely not enough, but at least better than nothing.

We left for San Francisco. The few days there was quite an experience. We cycled twice over the Golden Gate bridge coz I was so slow that we missed the last ferry back. 😥 I got scolded a few times coz I was pretty lousy at controlling the bicycle and I had no strength to cycle uphill. The last time I cycled was probably in Secondary school and even so, I’m definitely not a good cyclist. I ended up feeling sore all over. The next day, we did a lot of walking. A LOT. I think the trip was probably the only time I ever did do that much exercise.

Now that I’m back home, I somehow feel a little disoriented. It’s like totally living another life. There’s like too much “chaos” around me that I miss the quiet life in USA. No doubt I enjoy the food here, but I definitely do not enjoy the weather. I can’t even step out for a few minutes without feeling hot and sticky all over. I NEED THE AIRCON ON 24/7!

I got internship as I planned. Not too bad, but definitely not what I had expected. Perhaps my poly internship was too slack and this is the REAL DEAL. My first day ended quite badly. Not that the people were mean and all, but I myself felt overwhelmed and wondered if I could deliver what was expected of me. I hate it when people think too highly of me. It gives me pressure to perform well and not screw up. And I AM worried about screwing up. I don’t like to shortchange people. When I work, I expect to contribute something so that the boss will think that he/she hired the right person. Thank God I had deary to cheer me up.

The thing about working is that I end up feeling so tired everyday that I don’t even have much time for leisure activities. Worse, my current workplace is far from home. I end up having to wake up at 6am everyday. Makes me miss studying. Then when I’m studying, I’ll feel like wanting to work coz then I can earn money. Yea yea…the grass is always greener on the other side.

Oh well, I’m going to make good of this internship and ask all those nagging questions I have. I don’t care if they are the simplest questions and they make me sound stupid. If I don’t ask, I’ll never learn.

My weekends are damn precious now. It’s my only time with deary since both of us are working.

love candle

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We went to Wal-mart yesterday for our usual grocery shopping. After the whole rotting watermelon episode, it was time to get some air freshener. Well, we did get the air freshener, but we got something more…

Cute candles! No prize for correct guess which one is mine. 🙂

2009

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I know this is kinda late, but 明けましておめでとう! I ushered in the new year in the hotel in Anchorage, eating Nong Shim (super spicy cup noodle), and watching the countdown at Times Square, New York on tv.

I am now at Fairbanks. I pray that the new year starts off good. Please let me see an aurora. I don’t make new year resolutions coz I probably won’t keep them. I do have a few hopes though. One being reaching GPA 4.0, even if it’s just once.

I can’t believe I’m still blogging. I’ve been blogging since 2003? Although my archives show 2004 as the oldest date, I remember using one of those other free blogs before Diaryland. I didn’t backup those entries. It’s quite amazing to read my super old entries and feel like I’ve grown up and changed a lot over the years. I was 18 then, I’m now 23 (soon to be 24). I didn’t really give a damn about studies then, I’m now a kiasu Singaporean when it comes to grades now. I was single and hoping then, I’m now attached for almost a year and finally understand that love isn’t just a feeling, it’s so much more. As much as I dream of fairytale relationships and perfection in everything, it isn’t real. I’ve learnt that a relationship isn’t always a bed of roses; it can be pretty trying. There’s a bit of loving, a bit of giving, a bit of taking, a bit of patience, a bit of understanding, a bit of tolerating, a bit of reasoning, a bit of learning, and the list goes on and on.

present for me

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Ok, shall post up those long-awaited photos.

“Autumn is upon us once again…” This was what I had in mind when I saw the tree with its flaming leaves. (I think the tree is botak now.)

 

My room at Stoughton St.

Deary had a surprise for me yesterday. There were 2 parcels from Amazon waiting for me to open them. I knew one of them was the magazines I ordered, but I wondered whether the other huge box was Shine’s since I asked him to get my stuff for me using his free trial of Amazon Prime. Yea, we’re all making use of the free 2-day shipping by signing up for a one-month free trial of Amazon Prime. I contemplated opening it for a long time. Well, it was addressed to me, but just in case it isn’t mine… Ah, heck, I’ll open it since deary did leave a note saying “SURPRISE!” TADAA! Klipsch Groove PM20 speakers! So, they are supposed to be my advanced Christmas present (and possibly next birthday present). Thanks deary! :love:

Recently, I received an email about Fujitsu’s new products. THEY HAVE A NEW LAPTOP WHICH COMES IN PINK! Why didn’t they have that earlier?! It’s the Fujitsu L1010.

Tomorrow is Halloween. Got my lolita dress ready. Ki-san asked me whether I’m going to wear it to class. I said if she did wear something, I’ll wear it. Thus, we both agreed to dress-up for class. SSA is going to have a party at Yongji’s apartment at night. I guess most of us will be avoiding Green Street since campus police sent out an alert coz they found a note saying that someone will be shot on Halloween night on Green Street. Whether it’s a prank or not, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Last, but not least…check this out. Do you see my name? Do you? Do you? Hahaha…

i found my path

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This is about the best thing that has happened to me this week. I am no longer major-less! Woohoo! I GOT ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE OF MEDIA, ADVERTISING MAJOR!

*dances and twirls around*

Thank you Deary for helping me with the application essay. You deserve a treat from me + a big hug and kiss! :heart:

6 months and on

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This is a late post. 15 August 2008. Our half a year together. For the curious, we got together on 15 February 2008. 🙂

I’m not sure, but maybe Deary was dying to tell me the secret. Just like I’m ALWAYS dying to tell him some things although I plan to keep it a secret for the moment and then I finally can’t stand it and I tell. :laugh: So, the BIG SECRET was he got tickets to go on the Singapore Flyer. Although it seems like a novelty and I know better than to spend on such things, deep inside I am up for such novelties. I thought I’ll just be a so-called swakoo Singaporean and probably have a go at it yonks later. Yea, probably when this thing is no longer a novelty and they decide to lower the price…like the zoo? Haha.

Well, as Pwen said, it’s no big deal. All you see are buildings. BUT, just having the thought of seeing almost the whole of Singapore, the whole of a country at one go, now isn’t that cool? The interior was kinda cool, clean and glassy looking. If not for this Indian family, the whole experience would have been better even if we were sharing the capsule with other people. They were really noisy. Spoiled the whole calm feeling and taking in what you see.

Thank God I wasn’t insistent on eating elsewhere this time when Deary said he wanted to eat at Carl’s Jr. I ordered a Portebello Mushroom burger set which cost me $11.80. Yea, the burgers don’t come cheap, but the difference is you’re paying a premium price for a premium sized burger with a premium quality and taste. It tasted pretty much like BK’s Mushroom Swiss burger except that it was WAY better than the BK burger. BK’s burgers used to be good coz their patties were a lot juicier than other fast food chains, but the standard has dropped through the years. These days, my Mushroom Swiss burger patty seems to be dry and a little chao ta at the edges. 🙁

Our date was rather short, but I enjoyed every moment of it. Thanks Deary for the wonderful surprise. :heart: