i will survive

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Hmmm…got a bit negative there. People, I’m fine. I thank you all for the comments. See…that’s what’s so interesting about people. Everybody thinks differently. Some friends think that my course manager’s being harsh. Some think otherwise. And there’s neither wrong nor right. Coz there’s a bit of good in everything. Well…that’s what makes everyone different and special. They have their own set of views. 🙂

Yes, I do admit I’m quite undecided. Battling with my own “demons”. One of them being confidence. Somehow I feel I’ll never be good enough for some things. When really I should be more positive and find out what I’m really good at and be proud of it. OSIP right now really leaves me in a daze.

So tell myself, it’s over. The interview’s over. At least I tried. No use getting all dazed and frustrated over it. Life still has to go on.

Oh yea…the chant…*starts chanting* My lecturer thinks I’m a smart student.*keeps going* => personal confidence booster.

Whole lot of projects to complete. IN3D’s pretty much a challenge. Not quite sure how to start. Got the idea on paper. But the challenge is modelling it. The rest’s pretty much straightforward. Just whether I get stuck or not. Not much time left.

Time really passes by very fast. Few weeks more and I’m done with year 2. *provided I clear everything…choy…touch wood*

and the difference is?

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Wow wee. All I can say about the interview was that it felt like one major grilling session.

I walked into the interview room, nervous yet excited but with just the right amount of confidence. Ready to face the 5 interviewers. Yet halfway through the interview, I felt my confidence slipping away. My mind was in a daze, full of thoughts as I walked out of the interview room.

Perhaps the course manager was just trying to act like a difficult person just to see how I react. Maybe he’s really like that as a person. Yet I felt a little irritated. You see, he was trying to joke in a “sarcastic” manner. He also twisted some of my words…in a way. If he’s really trying to put me down, I’m NOT stupid. You think by laughing and trying to make it seem like a joke, I do not sense it? I do not understand what you’re trying to say? Here I am trying very hard to answer your question, there you are trying to make a joke out of everything I say. That surely is no way to lift the tension.

The way he said things. Bringing up all the worst case senarios, made it feel like it’s just one huge mistake for me to sign up for OSIP. That was when I felt my confidence slipping away. I was trying very hard to hold on to whatever confidence I had left. I know that once I lose my confidence, it really does show. And all will be lost.

Shucks! Something came to my mind only after I walked out. They kept stressing the fact that OSIP is so darn different and important that what if I feel frustrated with it halfway? What would I do? Asked what I wanted out of this whole OSIP thing. Why not normal SIP? The thing that came into mind is that so? Isn’t it the same with SIP? Just like you say…what happens if I feel frustrated with OSIP halfway? I can equally feel the same with SIP isn’t it? Isn’t that logical? And that led me to think that you guys feel that way about OSIP is the fact that if the student failed to perform for OSIP, it will spoil TP’s image. Image concious…superficial…blah blah blah.

I’m sorry to say that sometimes it’s really very sad. You really can’t be the real you. You can’t really say what you think or feel at such situations. Coz people only like to hear the good stuff. You must speak only the “correct” things or else you’ll be branded forever as a bad person. But what IS the “correct” thing?

Oh well…it’s over. I did try. I still thank the lecturers for bringing up issues that I’ve never really considered before. Life is full of choices. But sometimes you don’t really have a choice in something. No matter what, you gotta deal with it. Make the best out of it.

Hehe…I finally got Elizabeth Wurtzel’s “More, Now, Again” from Borders.

yes i do

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Woohoo! I can get to watch “The Passion of Christ”. It’s not R(A). First saw the advertisement for this movie on Mum’s copy of Catholic News. Sis just confirmed that the movie is not R(A).

I don’t know whether to feel happy for the couple or to laugh. Yesterday, I visited Jo’s blog…Diary-X blog. A pink page popped up instead of her blog layout. Thought she changed her layout.

After reading the first few lines, I thought this person hacked into the diary-x system. And that page was some virus. However, I checked the link to the girl’s blog and decided that it’s not a hoax.

You see…the contents on that page was actually a proposal. For all the curious and kaypoh people. Yes…you can view the page here. And the girl blogged her answer. She said yes.

To which, 70+ people commented on that entry. Many to congratulate them. Some felt that it’s not right. Marriage is a life-long commitment. Saying “I do” means that you promise to love each other, cherish each other, care for each other, go through the good and bad together and lots more.

Well, that’s why the wedding vows existed right? I often wonder whether couples understand and mean what they recite or they just recite for the sake of getting on with the ceremony. Coz why do you make a vow…a promise only to break it in the end? Then is that vow that you made worth anything anymore?

Well, that’s just my 2-cents worth on marriage.

Today is Kelvin sensei’s birthday. Louis’s famous words keep flashing in my mind…”worst”. Can’t believe I didn’t even know. How can I not know it’s sensei’s birthday. He sms-ed me while I was sleeping at home. Asked if I’m joining them for lunch. I wonder if it had anything to do with his birthday. Damn damn damn…*stabs myself*

I only knew about it during the break before ADID lab. When Cas called coz they got him a slice of cake and a card. Wanted to surprise him.

IN3D presentation was ok. Nervous as usual. I dislike presentations. Get so nervous. And I tend to stumble over my words or forget stuff whenever I get nervous. Don’t even know whether I was loud enough…bleargh. I bet I’ll be pretty nervous for the OSIP interview tomorrow. -_-|||

Last night Mum passed us some money. Dad got a bonus at work so he shared it out with the whole family. Proud of my Dad. *beams*

rush to sleep

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An hour’s sleep is never enough. But I’ll grab the chance anyway. Back home after STMD lab. Supposed to come home just to grab those books for IN3D tutorial presentation. But since I’m feeling so tired and I’ve 2 hours break. Yea…sleep it is.

I do not eat lunch…I hardly eat lunch nowadays. Usually it’s just fishballs, siew mai and ice mountain mineral water from the mobile canteen.

new song, new wallpaper

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New song on my blog. “Car Crashes” by Standfast. I think it’s one of Nad’s favourites right? It’s quite an outdated song but I still like it a lot. Certain lines in the song…

Lyrics to the song…

“Car Crashes” by Standfast

Car crashes deeply shows
A drunkard on the side of the road
People running (running)
Fantasy or reality
Analysis and theories
What does it matter really

Tell me what to believe
Won’t you bring me yonder
Tell me what to achieve
Baby, so I can move over
Tell me what to believe
Car crashes deeply shows
A drunkard on the side of the road
People run and run

Credit cards, a placid distress
Go live your life on the internet
That’s what this is
Conspiracies and mysteries
Science-fiction make-believe
My guy’s misery

Tell me what to believe
Won’t you bring me yonder
Tell me what to achieve
Baby, so I can move over
Tell me what to believe
Car crashes deeply shows
A drunkard on the side of the road
People run and run

Tell me what to believe
Won’t you bring me yonder
Tell me what to achieve
Baby, so I can move over
Tell me what to believe
Car crashes deeply shows
A drunkard on the side of the road
People run and run

Car crashes deeply shows
A drunkard on the side of the road
People running (running)
(All these car crashes in my head)
Fantasy or reality
Analysis and theories
(All these car crashes)
What does it matter really
(All these car crashes)

Tell me what to believe
Won’t you bring me yonder
Tell me what to achieve
Baby, so I can move over
Tell me what to believe
Car crashes deeply shows
A drunkard on the side of the road
People run and run

Tell me what to believe
Won’t you bring me yonder
Tell me what to achieve
Baby, so I can move over
Tell me what to believe
Car crashes deeply shows
A drunkard on the side of the road
People run and run

Wallpaper update. It’s S.H.E once again. It’s the cover of their 6th album “Qi Huan Lu Cheng”. There are 2 versions for the album. This is the magical version…I also prefer the cover for this version. There wasn’t a wallpaper made yet. So I scanned the cover myself. Taa daa!

oh dear…

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Slept pretty early yesterday. Midnight. Well, I normally sleep around 2+am so midnight’s early. Was tired. Had a long day with no nap in between.

Was in school till 5pm. Finishing off the ER diagram. However, I think some parts we did wrongly. It’s more like a mind map than ER diagram. My group members don’t seem to realise it. And I find it difficult to explain. Oh well…we’re approaching our tutor so I guess she’ll point that out and have a better explanation.

Had Shrooms burger for dinner again. Sis wanted to eat that. So KFC again. In a hurry anyway.

Got ready to go to the Shakespeare play. And then the most terrible thing happened. Sis took out the tickets to check and to her horror, it was for 3pm, not 8pm. Apparently, Mum did ask for the 8pm show but the Sistic counter girl made a mistake. Mum didn’t check the tickets. So there. Desmond called up Sistic to find out if there could be any exchange or refund.

Had to settle for a movie instead. Wanted to watch “My Girl” at TM at 9.10pm. Whoa…long queue at the cinema. Ended up watching “20 30 40” at Century Square at 9.15pm.

Okie dokie…need to get work done.

more competitions

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Those who have digicams…here comes another digital photo competition. This time by Health Promotion Board. More details here.

And for those who think they are pro at Flash MX and ActionScript. Something you might like to consider. More details here. Sounds pretty chim though. Not my cup of tea.

The results for the digital photo competition by IDA are out. View the winning entries here.

Good news. I got shortlisted for the interview for OSIP. It’s next Tuesday. Seriously, I still think it’s a pretty slim chance. But anyway…I’ve already come that far. Better to have tried than nothing at all.

CMSK meeting skills assessment was ok. I don’t know if you consider it suay or lucky but I drew out the lot to be chairperson. Miss Ng said that whoever who got that lot must go and buy 4D. *to Wee Hua, Louis, Lay Chu and Siti* So, where’s my number from each of you? *kidding* I think I sucked at being the chairperson. Hell…I don’t even know how to be one. I was just racking my brains for what to say to move the meeting along. Anyway, it’s over. 🙂

Heh…the reason why I complained about the Shrooms burger coz it’s too SMALL! Ate that again today to confirm. Yep…definitely too small. Had dinner around 7.30pm and now at around 11+pm, I’m hungry again. -_-|||

I went to TM MJ with a mission to get the Xue Tian Shi soundtrack. When I saw the Arashi How’s It Going? Summer 2003 concert vcd, I ditched the idea of getting the soundtrack. Heh…only got enough money for one item. So it’s either or…too bad, Arashi was more appealing. Muahahahaha…

Tomorrow there’s make-up lessons for ORDS. After which our group will be discussing on the ORDS project. Wanted to go to Toro’s autograph session but project comes first. Oh well…never mind. Going to the Shakespeare play tomorrow with Sis and Desmond. Hehe…can’t wait to laugh till my sides ache.

advertisements lie

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What you see may not be what you get. KFC advertised their new huge juicy mushroom and chicken burger on tv. In actual fact, the burger is nothing wonderful.

Advertisements are just an evil ploy to brainwash unsuspecting people into throwing money away. Muahahahaha…

Qoo towne is coming! Qoo towne is coming! 9 to 28 April at Cineleisure. Lotsa Qoo stuff. Can you say yay? *excited*

A few new movies coming too. Chick flick “The Prince and Me” starring Julia Stiles. Opening on 9 April. Then there’s “Van Hellsing” opening in May I think. I knew about this movie some time ago coz Sis went to download the trailer. She also downloaded another trailer for “13 Going On 30” starring Jennifer Garner. No news about it yet in Singapore.

books

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[edited at 11.16pm]
Shucks! I think last week was the last episode for the season of CSI. Bleargh.

On a brighter note, Buffy’s BACK!
[edited

Grandparents left for home *Malaysia* today.

IN3D is tough but pretty cool in a way too. Tough coz we gotta do a short animation for project 2. Gotta model the characters all by ourselves.

Cool coz you can even model real stuff. Like today’s lab exercise was to model a can of Sunmaid raisins. Complete with the label. 🙂 The other time was a vitamin bottle. Nature’s Way Royal Jelly I think.

Since Mum and Sis were going to the hairdresser in town, decided to make a trip down too. For dinner. Went to Kino first. Bought a few magazines. Almost got my hands on Elizabeth Wurtzel’s “More, Now, Again”. The book I picked up was a little dog-earred at the bottom of the cover. Asked if they had a new copy. The one I was holding was the only copy left. Didn’t buy it in the end.

Moral of the story: Elisia likes her books nice and new. No dog-earred covers or pages, thank you very much.