expectations

by

*sigh* It’s good to be able to air your grievances to someone who is willing to listen or feels the same way as you do. Sometimes I find myself in a position where I’m unable to do so because I get shot down each time. What about me not bothering about the family or that I should examine myself first… It begins with anger then turns to sheer disappointment when I hear such stuff. Just coz the words mean to accuse me of something I’m not and they come from someone I hold dear.

I know you have problems and that I’m not in a position to judge you simply coz I will not be able to feel what you feel neither can I read your mind. But I wonder whether you realise the things you say and do hurt others as well. Maybe what I write here will make you feel more down but please don’t. Although I may feel angry or sad but it is only momentary. Whatever happens, you are still family – someone I love. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.

I spent the afternoon looking through the SAT preparation booklet. I don’t know if I’m right in saying that I’m starting to get cold feet about the whole thing. I’m not sure I can make it. I keep getting thoughts of “what have I gotten myself into?” I really don’t want to waste the money. What if I study and still don’t make it? Sure, everyone keeps saying that I can do it coz I come from a family with a good English language foundation or that I came from the class with the best English language standard back in Secondary school. But I know myself best. Flipping through the booklet, looking at the type of questions I’m going to face, it’s really not easy. I haven’t even seen some of the words before. The essay, I’m not sure I can handle it.

I’ve told my parents not to mention about me taking the test to everyone. Especially since I’m taking the test around the Chinese New Year period. I know an uncle who is bound to criticise if he knew about it. If everyone got to know of it and I don’t make it then it’ll be so 丢脸 and it’ll make me feel worse. That I haven’t lived up to everyone’s expectations.

happy birthday mummy dearest

by

*makes quick check of the time*

Left with one second…I don’t think I can post this within one second so even if Mum’s birthday is over, I will still say what I want to.

Mummy,

Happy birthday. I love you.

I could write you a long letter saying I love you and how I’m sorry for all the mistakes I’ve made. But I know I will keep making the same mistakes over and over again till the day I learn the lesson the hard way, so there’s no point in saying sorry. Even so, I know that no matter what, you love me with all your heart.

With love and kisses,
Mei

away for the weekend

by

Realised I haven’t blog in awhile.

Was away in Ipoh for the weekend. Per’s mum couldn’t go so they had a spare bus ticket. I was quite surprised that Mum allowed me to go. This is after all my first trip with a friend.

The whole bus ride there, Per and I were the only ones awake and talking. Haha…

Didn’t buy anything there for myself. Although I did see a pair of shoes but pity they didn’t have my size. Well, ok I did. Just some munchies for the family.

Oh shucks! I just realised I haven’t called Singtel to cut off the auto-roaming for my handphone.

Anyway, I’m busy working my main blog page. More or less everything up. Just a bit more and the total backup of all my blog entries here.

the converse shoes and the adidas shoes

by

*stares at old Converse shoes* Goodbye, my comfy shoes. For the past 2 years, you have brought comfort to my feet, walking wherever I went. You got dirty through time but you didn’t mind it.

It is hard to part with my first pair of Converse shoes. Coz it feels so comfy after having worn it for 2 years. But it is time to go coz the heel part has worn out. It is so dirty. The side design cracked. Hole appearing. *sigh*

*stares at new Adidas shoes* Hi, new shoes. You’ll stick with me for the next 2 years or more. You had better appreciate it coz I quarrelled with Sis over you today.

Nahz. Sis and I got pissed off with each other. Coz we were supposed to go out but she didn’t tell me what time she wanted to go. So I was watching vcds the whole time and suddenly she announces “Let’s go”. I haven’t worn the new shoes yet so I haven’t adjusted the laces. And she couldn’t really wait. So I had to angrily tell her to go off first.

Oh well, the shoes are fine except it needs to be worn a few times to season it such that it reaches the super comfy level.

uchi is takoyaki boy

by

I am curbing myself from going out too much coz I really need to save some money after spending so much at Mise S*Clusive.

Sis is going mad over Uchi from NewS. She thinks that the takoyaki boy we saw in Osaka is him. Well, we didn’t get a good look at him coz…it is RUDE TO STARE. But I think, he is quite pleasant looking. And since Uchi is from Osaka…she said maybe in the day he goes to school and then Johnny’s work. At night, he helps out in his father’s takoyaki shop. And why all this nonsense? Just coz she saw him eating takoyaki in the dvd. -_-|||

Grandparents have gone home to Malaysia this morning.

the guys and girls

by

Hurhur, I think I kinda ditched the idea to blog about my trip. Nothing much to say except that stuff was cheap, food was salty and oily and we visited a lot of temples and so-and-so’s house from the past.

Thursday, Sis and I celebrated Joyce’s birthday at Sushi Tei in Paragon. After dinner, we went to Mise S*Clusive. AGAIN. And AGAIN, I couldn’t resist the charm of Masuda and NewS. Let’s just say I’m planning to stay home for the next 1-2 weeks.

Yesterday, watched Madagascar with Sis, Desmond and Desmond’s sister, Michelle. It was a hilarious cartoon. “I like to move it, move it. You like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. You like to…MOVE IT!”

Met up with Xiu Wei, Cas, Don, Raynor, Chee Wee, Zhihao, Albin, Clare and Yingwei to celebrate Raynor’s and Clare’s birthday. Went to this little restaurant in Clarke Quay. After which, we sat around at a bar to talk while the guys drank.

While Raynor was driving some of us home, the whole guys and girls thing popped up. Yingwei said that if a guy is driving and he gets lost, the girl shouldn’t ask “Are you lost?” coz it gets the guy mad. It’s the whole ego thing lahz. I think it’s like guys think when the girl asks like that, she’s like looking down on him or something? But in actual fact I think she’s just trying to help?

Another thing that was discussed during 7ners chalet. When there’s a problem, the guy would want to sweep it under the rug, the further the better. Until one day when the problem snowballs into a mountain then we’ll talk about it. Whereas the girl would want to solve it now so it doesn’t repeat. And they finally discuss it, the guy would think that the girl is just getting so heated up over a small matter. But the girl is like thinking “What small matter?! Get yourself in this mess still dare say!”

That’s the difference between guys and girls. Perhaps guys should get down from their little pedestal once in a while. It’s not always about you and your ego. Girls should…well, just be more understanding that guys will always have their pride.

Like how one of the contestants in Miss Universe said, guys lack sensitivity.

One more thing CJ mentioned, both guys and girls tend to want to talk emotional stuff with girls.

lemony snicket

by

Today’s my grandma’s birthday. We celebrated with her yesterday. Simple meal together. And I was quite relieved/glad that my grandpa actually talked a bit. Ever since he had a little accident years ago, he became quite withdrawn and because of that, he started to age a lot quicker.

Watched “Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events”. Quite a nice show actually. Sunny’s so cute! And yes…don’t watch it if you are expecting to see happy little elves. Wahahahahahahaha…

I saw this nice sweater/jacket from Fila. But it’s expensive. Bleargh. James offered his Fila card to get a 15% discount. But with the discount, I still think it’s expensive and it’s not like I’m in need of one. It’s more of a want. I need to really think through if I want to get it. Like after I buy it, will I keep using it? If not, it’s pointless to spend so much.

trains and mrts

by

The previous posts have been archived so for those who haven’t read about my Japan trip and want to, go to the archives.

Since I’ve tagged a fair bit about trains and MRTs, let’s talk about that.

Like I tagged, in Japan, the train service has normal, fast and rapid. Normal, the train stops at every stop. Fast, the train stops at certain stops. Rapid, the train stops at only major stops. There is no difference in train fare for normal and fast trains. However for rapid trains, there is a need to pay 500 yen more.

Mum and Dad travelled by train to some place. They didn’t know about the extra fee for the rapid trains. So they happily got on one. That was until the train master came round checking tickets and asked them to pay 500 yen more.

If you’re thinking that perhaps the train master is trying to con my parents, I don’t think so. I believe that generally, all Japanese are honest people. Everything is done in the open so there can be no accusations of cheating and whatsoever.

At the shops, you do not put the money for payment on the table or hand it to the salesperson. There is a tray on the counter to leave the money there.

Every item scanned, the salesperson will announce how much it cost. He/she will also announce the total cost, how much you pay and the change if any. If you pay in a big note *10000 yen and above* for something that cost very little. The salesperson will count the notes for the change one by one.

Ok ok…I have strayed from the main topic.

So maybe our MRT can adopt the normal and fast train method? But then again, I think they better not mess around with the system anymore.

Look at what trouble has been caused coz of the circle line. First it was Nicoll Highway. Then it was AYE. I haven’t exactly read about what happened to the AYE. It was reported by Desmond when we came back to Singapore.

I say, if more stuff happens that’s related to the circle line, perhaps the circle line is not meant to exist.

Okie…here comes the pics…

This is a one-day ticket. Single trips cost around 200-300 yen. So if you’re making more than 4 trips a day, it is cheaper to get this. With this ticket that costs 850 yen (around S$13.60), it allows you to make unlimited trips in a day. I wanted to buy a single trip ticket, the cheapest one to keep as a souvenir but I forgot. Single trip tickets get “eaten” up.

Yes yes…Aiba-kun! Kakkoii ne~ The uchiwas I bought from the Johnny’s shop. The left one is from the 2003 Summer concert. The right one is from the 2003-2004 Winter concert. Ok ok…Per, your Sho-kun is also kakkoii. Hehe…

This is my yukata~~~ *sings* Had to take this pic while Mum was out. She folded it nicely and put it in a box already. If she knew I took it out just to take a pic, she’ll kill me. *points* The main yukata. The yellow piece is the obi *the one that goes around the waist*. The strings to tie. Then the pink “bao bao” *bag*. Hee…

weekend gone

by

Saturday…managed to go to the Shakespeare play after all. Mum bought tickets again. Still love the play. It’s so hilarious. Of course they changed certain lines to suit the current situation.

After the play, went shopping with Sis and Desmond. Had dinner at Sento.

Sunday…had ORDS group meeting at 3pm in school. Finalise the ER Diagram plus ER Mapping. Although I still feel there are a few errors. Maybe coz I’m not too sure myself.

Left about an hour later. Went to see some houses near Changi Hospital. The one that we all like has finally been sold off. Yep…Mum is pretty much deciding to buy a house if possible.

After that, went to my grandparents house. My grandfather’s 80th birthday. Simple meal.

And there goes my weekend. Didn’t do any work. Dead…so dead…

The good news. Our 7ners blog is up! Thanks to Nad for her designing skills. If the rest of the 7ners are agreeable, I’ll link it up here.

wasting away

by

Nothing much today. Bought dinner from Pasta Mania. Since Wei En served me, she gave me a discount. Of course, like how a woman shops when she’s at the mall, I stopped by OP to check out the new stuff. Nothing much but I got myself a grey racer-back top. Yay! One more off my wishlist.

Couldn’t resist getting a My Little Pony from Toys R’ Us too. Hee…

Sis is highly irritable today. In one of her almost depression moods. Little bit then get irritated until going to cry that kinda pattern. She didn’t go to school. Just slept the whole day.

I don’t know. I have this unexplainable anger whenever I see her sleeping the whole day, not going to school. I feel she’s not helping herself. Just wasting her whole life away. If you know you won’t have enough sleep then why do you make yourself sleep in the wee hours of the morning. Don’t tell me you’re doing schoolwork. Half the time I see you doing other stuff. You don’t do your stuff, then panic when the deadline gets nearer. People start hounding you and you can’t take it.

Why? Why make yourself so miserable? You got a problem. You want to overcome the problem. Then start doing something to help yourself. But I guess I won’t really understand what she thinks. Depression is really complicated.