almost there

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There are times when I almost want to burst, frustrated at my inability to reach my computer…

Sis
Thanks for the prayers. Sis has been discharged since last Saturday. I wouldn’t say that the problems have been solved but at least now that she has gotten a bit of help from professionals, I think she is also trying to sort out how she feels. It’s back to the rather cramped house (since my grandparents came to stay) but I guess everyone’s trying not to bother each other and step on each other’s toes.

School
I don’t care if people are going to say I’m desperate. As long as I know I tried, even if the ending is not what I want, at least I’m comforted.

I went to an American School fair. DePaul had a booth there. I talked to the school advisor. I know I sounded kinda strange coz I really didn’t know how to approach the topic. How embarassing can it get to “bother” people when I have already been rejected. But Mr Durbin was nice, he said he would check out with the admissions people to see what was the actual reason behind the rejection. He did offer a possibility that my poly grades are not considered academic and thus the only grades that were looked at was my O’level results (which sucked big time).

I was kinda disappointed to hear that reason. If it was 5-10 years ago, I would have accepted that reason. Poly was once deemed as the path for all those who got “lousier” grades and couldn’t make it to JC. But now, it seems that people like me (people who can’t even smell the air of JC) are fighting to get into poly with O’level 7-pointers. Which means that poly’s standards have been raised by a lot. Could almost say it’s of equal standing to JC.

So, the question is…do we poly graduates really have a future? What lies in store for us outside of the country if our grades are not going to be considered?

Work
My lunchtime buddy, Selina has left. 😥 I will always remember her love for the fried fish at the 菜饭 stall at the interchange. So much that she said she would burn their stall down if she didn’t get to eat it. Hahaha…oopz. Wishing her all the best in her studies. 🙂

Shimei, the new temp staff left after 3 days citing family reasons. Ok, that leaves me as the only temp staff left in Motor Processing. Which also means I have to do everything. Processing/issuing motor policies (DUH!), calling up other insurance companies to check on customers’ NCD (a tiring thing to do), franking and posting the mail, bringing down the motor proposals for scanning and passing the foreign maid payments for processing, facing the (nonsense) servicing staff downstairs.

Had quite a bad experience for the last. My colleague says that’s the “spirit” of most of the Income staff. Let me explain my position first. I am, well, just…THE TEMP STAFF, which means I am not in the position to argue with anyone lest I wanna get kicked out. Very dangerous position to be in. To put it nicely, the temp staff assists the full-timers with their work. To put it horribly, the temp staff does the sai gang.

Now that I’m done with explaining my position, I shall move on to that “spirit”. When a problem arises, everyone likes to 耍太极。Whoa, you should see how everyone becomes 太极 experts and the problem goes unsolved for a week or more. Hello, shouldn’t we be putting our heads together to solve it and then settle our differences later? And when a solution presents itself (whether temporary or not), shouldn’t we just take it first?

Now to put the 2 together… Being the temp staff, I’m usually the middleman for most things. You could say that it’s partly due to my unfamiliarity to most issues. But, there are times when I can see the solution so clearly that it frustrates me to see no one trying to well, MOVE! Oh wait, I can’t do anything coz I’m just the lowly *drumroll* temp staff.

Ktv
Met some poly mates last Saturday. Had dinner then moved on to KBox at Cine. Although KBox isn’t the choice place for Japanese songs (like I can’t find OLIVIA’s “A Little Pain” in KBox can I?), I know I can still find something Japanese to sing. Was kinda surprised to find 伊藤由奈’s “Endless Story” though. The last time we went to KBox, Per, Sis and I resorted to choosing the chinese version and Myojo Young Song lyrics. I would have done that for SweetS’ “虹色の永遠” but I didn’t have the lyrics on hand that day. And I DO NOT rely on romanji anymore.

Just coz I sing Japanese songs or utter a few Japanese phrases doesn’t make me pro. I only sing slower songs coz then I can read. Even if I sing slightly faster songs, it’s coz I am already familiar with the tune and most of the lyrics. More like memorisation work.

Heehee…going CS-ing on my birthday. Woohoo!

Elisia’s 必唱 Japanese song list:

  1. NewS – NEWSニッポン (super high song…1 2 3 4 5 6 7 it’s BIG NEWS!!!)
  2. NewS – 希望~Yell~ (another high song…can sing 90% of the song)
  3. NewS – チェリッシュ (it’s not really 必唱 since I can only sing the chorus part but we can do the hand actions…haha)
  4. NewS – ずっと (don’t care if it’s a bit low…Massu sang it and anyway, it’s a nice song)
  5. OLIVIA inspi’ REIRA (TRAPNEST) – A Little Pain (can sing 95% of the song)
  6. REIRA starring Yuna Ito – Endless Story
  7. YUI for 雨音 薫 – Good-bye Days
  8. 薫 雨音 (Sawajiri Erika) – タイヨウのうた
  9. Berryz工房 – ジリリ キテル
  10. モーニング娘。- ふるさと (will choose to sing it only if not in Cash)
  11. 宇多田ヒカル – First Love (will choose to sing it only if not in Cash)

Attempting/might attempt to make these songs 必唱:

  1. モーニング娘。さくら組 – さくら満開 (it’s slow enough…haha)
  2. SweetS – Color Of Tears
  3. SweetS – 虹色の永遠 (this is an exception coz the machine in Cash doesn’t have this song…have to use the chinese version)
  4. 大塚 愛 – 金魚花火
  5. 浜崎あゆみ – Who… (going to check out if the machine in Cash has it…love this song a lot)

Birthday
You never really notice that years have passed until you notice the poster on your wall is dated year 2003. Yea…the “A Ballads” poster on my room wall…

Can’t believe it’s my birthday again. I must have been working too hard to notice. Haha… I only noticed when Mum gave me the envelope to make a Lent time donation. I was like “I thought you gave us already…” then trailed off when I realised it was last year’s envelope I was referring to. Anyway, Lent time means it’s close to Easter which means it’s near my birthday.

Anyway, I haven’t really thought of what I wanted. More tamis I guess. Hahaha… I want a strawberry cake this year. Last year was black forest. I have compiled my wish list under ‘links’.

very beauty

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Every once in awhile, there must be a fangirl post… :love:

It’s Berryz工房’s 3rd anniversary! How time flies. Must say they have really grown. Even their music is starting to take on a more matured sound.

Their recent release…

The picture lies. That’s coz Yurina is much freakin’ freakin’ taller. She just sticks out from the rest. I :heart: Risako’s shoes! Oh and what Per said is correct. Miyabi’s name really suits her. She’s getting prettier and prettier each time. Tsunku, don’t be biased. Since you’ve given Risako a chance at a pictorial, why not give Miyabi a chance too? :rofl:

VERY BEAUTY sounds a little more matured from their older songs. The PV was nicely shot although I kinda feel the dance is odd. Hohoho…and thank goodness Momoko wasn’t given a lead part. I have nothing against Momoko, she is a very hardworking girl. But I do have something against her awfully cartoonish voice. Risako’s vocals are ok but they tend to sound strained at certain parts. Miyabi on the other hand, is a better singer.

Of course, talking about Berryz工房 reminds me of Maiha-chan. Kinda miss her. She’s so cute.

give me more random topics

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“I swear that one day, my computer is going to explode in my face.”

Some random topics…

Computer
Yes, you read the topic sentence. I’ve been fiddling around with my computer a lot. Adding and removing programs. So much that my computer gives out weird (but unharmful) error messages, hangs at random moments, is getting slower and slower when starting up and generally a bitch most of the time.

Just this evening, I was trying to change some configurations so I will be able to type in traditional Chinese. Downloading the global IME and in so doing, having to uninstall Microsoft Visio coz it isn’t a legal copy and the Microsoft website doesn’t recognise it. Oopz…*protests* poor students can’t afford totally legal stuff. Besides, I only needed it when I was still studying in TP. Hardly use it now.

I still haven’t burnt out all the stuff I downloaded. Hehe…Nad, don’t think your 320GB hard drive is almighty. Very soon it will fill up and you’ll be complaining that you need more space. Anyway, I’ve been saying that I want to burn out my stuff and reformat my computer so many times but I haven’t done so. Procrastinator.

Cars
Ever since I started working with the motor processing team in NTUC Income, I’ve started to notice cars on the road a lot more.

May I conclude that a Kia Picanto is a cute car! :heart: I would love to own this cute car if I ever learn how to drive. My car would be pink. Although Kia Picantos don’t come in this shade but I could always get it repainted right? Well, all this is of course…impossible. Coz we all know that…

  1. Cars are freakin’ expensive in Singapore. Or at least the COE is.
  2. Motor insurance is also freakin’ expensive. Trust me, I know.
  3. Elisia has a lousy sense of direction. HAHAHAHAHA… :rofl:

And I’m still trying to find out the model and make of the cute pink car in the neighbouring carpark.

Money and Music
While most girls spend their money on clothes, I spend most of my money on CDs and magazines.

The minute I got my pay, I walked into a cd shop and exited with…

  1. 花样少年少女 OST
  2. YUI – From Me To You album
  3. Yuna Ito – Heart album
  4. BoA – Made In Twenty (20) album

That’s like a lot of money. See, that’s why people resort to downloading music.

It’s kinda ironic also that I buy the cds and don’t listen to them as a cd. As in, I rip the songs out and transfer them to my mp3 player so I can listen to the songs as I walk to work and back home everyday.

Sudoku
Sudoku is addictive. At first, I couldn’t understand what was all the fuss about a little puzzle. Never knew or even bothered to find out how to play it. Until a few days ago, I decided to make an attempt at it since there was one in the newspapers that is given out free every morning at the office building. Not like I would pick up a copy of the newspaper every morning since it’s in Chinese. Don’t get me wrong, I CAN read and understand Chinese but I’m just lazy to read the language since it takes me much longer to read something in Chinese than in English. Anyway, I only pick up a copy of the newspaper if an article on the front cover catches my eye.

After this exciting discovery that Sudoku is addictive, I’m going to pick up the newspaper every morning. Whether I read the articles or not, that’s none of your business. Hahaha…

massu’s seijinshiki

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Wah lau…damn unfair lahz. Just coz last year’s 成人式 had P and Kame then they made such a big affair of it. This year nothing lorz. Poor Massu… 🙁 So there I was waiting for the news without knowing that it already happened. Until I flipped through Kindai…

*squeals*

No that isn’t the pic I saw in Kindai but yea… I wanted to squeal and jump around the minute I saw the pic. Couldn’t. I was alone in Kino. 5 guys looking so 帅 in suits. Massu in traditional clothing (don’t know what it’s called). :love: *faint faint faint* Anyway, the traditional clothing gave it away. 成人式。

As usual, 元気 boy is so…元気。:heart: Please ignore P. Haha…


 

And the funny part came…




I think Shige is the kind who would just laugh out loud first and not help if someone fell down. Shige, how dare you laugh at Massu. :glare: Hahaha…

for so long…so long

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I’m not sure if I should go on a hiatus. I don’t get much computer time anymore. When I get to use the computer, I’ve got other things to do…blogging becomes last priority and I never get to it in the end. When I want to blog, I don’t have access to my computer.

I’m still trying to figure out my own emotions. It was a momentary release when my grandparents went back to Malaysia for 6 days or so. No, it was a momentary release for 3 of us (Mum, Sis and I). I felt I could breathe again. I didn’t have to feel guilty for once and I could go around the house doing the things I wanted to. I didn’t have to feel like I was keeping my temper in check all the time. Although I hate that I have to be like that, I can’t help it. All the disappointment just sums up. I don’t feel like talking to my own grandparents. How fuckin’ sad is that?

At work, I just go about doing my work and stop thinking about my own emotions. I guess it’s to numb out what I feel. Anyway, at work there’s always other things to worry about. Like whether I’m doing things right and that I should keep mistakes at a minimum.

Oh by the way, I’m still in NTUC Income. I was going to quit but they offered an admin position. So I’m in the Motor Processing team now. Basically, I just key in data for Motor insurance proposals and issue Motor insurance policies. Of course, data entry is always a boring job coz it’s routine but I think I much prefer that to being a call agent. At least I don’t feel like murdering anyone anymore.

I’m on an AAA high again. I just asked Ling to help me get their 2nd and 3rd concert dvds at Narita airport if she manages to find them. Thank God she’s only transiting or else I would have asked her to get me a lot more stuff and she’ll hate me for that. Heehee~~~ I got their 2nd album with dvd from Mariyanto’s friend. Happy~~~

I’ll be broke this month. I spent $200+ on NewS. So happy that they are back. I still remember listening to “Dreams” and getting a little emotional. Ordered stuff from this year’s spring con (I won’t get to go anyway…) + their new single (both normal and limited editions) + 2007 calendar. Kinda pissed off that I ordered Jrs calendar coz I thought NewS wasn’t going to have their own calendar. Guess I’ll sell it off later if I don’t want it. I kinda have this small nagging feeling that Kusano and Uchi are not coming back and that NewS will remain as a 6-man group. Hope I’m wrong… Anyway, thanks to Celestine for helping me get Massu’s uchiwa from Countdown concert. 🙂

Magazines will be coming in this Friday. Mise was closed yesterday…so no Miso Soup till next weekend. So much for getting high in HMV when I saw Miso Soup on the shelf. 

NewS released a new pv for サヤエンドウ! Ain’t that great though coz it’s mostly scenes from last year’s spring con. And sorry Massu, Shige looked the most handsome in spring con while singing サヤエンドウ. But Massu as usual, you made me laugh.

I finished watching “궁“. *victory sign* Very enjoyable korean drama. *dreamy look* Conquering “タイヨのうた” next. 沢尻 エリカ looks very different in タイヨのうた. Way more grown up than in １リットルの涙.

Was kinda happy when I saw NANA anime episodes uploaded in clubbox. But alas, my happiness was shortlived. It refused to download. Damn. Cathay should really bring in the NANA movie. What are you guys waiting for? It was already featured in the Singapore news. BRING IT IN!!! Sidenote, Ling also thinks that 市川由衣 doesn’t suit the role of 小松奈々 in NANA2.

Lastly, merry christmas, happy birthday, happy new year, happy whatever…all the occasions I missed wishing here. I missed blogging about Wawa’s, Chloe’s, Yui’s, PK’s, CJ’s, Sis’s birthdays. I missed blogging on XW and Paul’s wedding. Congratulations to both of you. I missed blogging on 7ners gathering at Albert Court Hotel. Things which I don’t feel like blogging anymore. No reason why. Once the feeling is gone, it’s gone.

heart pain

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“Heart pain lahz~~~”

Johnnys-net is making me feel like stabbing myself. NewS is having spring con and I can’t goooooooooooooooooooo~~~ Not now or even the near future. Unless they have summer con which I doubt.

Who ask me to click on the link lahz~~~ 😥

work, school, my life

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Few things to address…

Home
realistic-soul.net is 2! I don’t remember the exact date I bought this domain but since my site went down for awhile coz it was time to pay up then I knew. I downgraded my webspace plan. Over-ambitious me bought quite a huge amount of webspace only to let it go to waste for over one year. I don’t think I’ll ever get round to fixing all my photos for uploading so yea, the space will only be used for my blog, tcg post and fanlisting site. Not forgetting my 2 hostees. 🙂

School
I’m praying hard that I’ll get a better score for SAT. It went ok. Maybe coz I’ve experienced it before, this time round I was more concious of the time constraint. I managed to finish each section on time. Didn’t stumble over any Math question which is like a miracle.

I wouldn’t say I was totally serious about studying, laziness still got the better of me. My preparation was just all the exercises in the super thick preparation book and 3 full papers. Anyone could say that that wasn’t enough studying.

Kinda did the whole comparison thing when I found out that Shaz and my cousin would be taking it at the same time. I started to feel that I couldn’t match up to others. That I would be the lousiest in terms of grades. I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I can’t help it. 😥

Other than the SAT, I need to pick up my referral letter from Mr D and to actually get cracking on those essays. Kinda rush I know but if I don’t start, I never will.

Work
Although I don’t really like what I’m doing now, it’s not like I hate it to the point I’m going to breakdown any moment. For the sake of the pay, which is quite good for a temporary job, I wanted to stick it out for the 6 months. Quitting now would mean that I’ll have to go through the hassle of looking for a job and in that time, I would have lost some income. Besides, this job is at prime location, within walking distance from home. I can wake up at 7am and still not be late.

Alas, it’s not to be. I just went through appraisal. Firstly, they think I’m doing fine. Phew! Then, they dropped the bomb. There are too many inbound call agents. After the peak period, each team would be rotated to do outbound calls aka telemarketing. Frankly speaking, telemarketing is not my cup of tea. Not that I’m writing off the job without even trying but I know that it’s just not the job for me. Even as an inbound call agent, there are times where I struggle to be firm when it comes to requests by customers. I can empathise with some of them and want to accede to their requests but I know I can’t coz I’m not in that position to do so.

I refer to the comment that Pwen made a few entries ago on how to be firm yet able to empathise. She said I could try repeating the fact that it’s the company policy. But if you were to put yourself in the customer’s shoes, there are times where this simply wouldn’t work. I end up trying to put myself in both positions – as the call agent and as the customer and end up feeling more miserable than ever. I don’t think I can block out these thoughts and just be thick-skinned and more persuasive, something which telemarketeers should be.

The only other way would be to request for a change in job within the company. A change to something more of data entry/admin nature. But DUH…we all know that data entry is like a no-brainer job for me. No challenge at all since I know I can handle it. The last time I worked in a data entry job, everyday was just keying in data into those same fields that I practically became a robot. I could type at super speed without even reading those fields coz I could remember the order. There was even once or twice that I fell asleep at the keyboard and if not for the loud beep from the computer that I’m holding on to a key for too long, I would have just slept on.

Anyway, there are very few data entry positions in this branch. Even as we speak, there’s an application waiting for a data entry/admin opening that has been there for some time already. Might have a higher chance in HQ but that would mean I’ll have to spend on transport and wake up much earlier. No more free ride to work since Mum has retired from her job.

No hard feelings if I want to quit though. Although it is said that it is a 6 month contract, there are no conditions that bind me to the company. We can still part amicably even before the term is up. But…but…but…I NEED THE MONEY!!! I’m putting aside $300 each month I get my pay for my Japan trip next year. If I give up the job, there’s no guarantee I’ll get another job of equal pay or higher than that of now. Worse, what if there’s nothing available for some time.

Entertainment
Went to the concert sponsored by ABC Stout yesterday. A concert with Chen Sheng, Pin Guan and Mayday. Went with Sis, Jiemin and Angeline. Enjoyed myself though the concert ended quite late thus I had to take urgent leave today.

I wanted to post this earlier but didn’t have the time to and my site was down for a day or so. Per gave me the link for DBSK’s clips on Youtube. Xiah is just too cute! :rofl:

the smell of home

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“Chou ii kan ji~~~”

I finally remembered to check out Tego and Massu’s “Miso Soup” on youtube last night. Ne~e…I wasn’t really paying attention to the meaning of the song though I caught it coz I was busy trying to figure out what both of them were singing. English version. So, trying to make out their “engrish”. Ok, I’m exaggerating a little. I could hear some sentences.

The familiar taste of Mum’s miso soup. The taste of home. All the little things that make you think of home. I always smell my jacket coz it has the smell of the fabric softener which reminds me of my mum and home.

I think the song has similiar meaning to Sankyoudai’s “Onigishi”.

Apart from that, Per was supplying me with all the youtube links to DBSK’s clips. Xiah is so cute! :rofl:

The weekend flew past quite fast. Saturday, Sis and I went to Lucify’s concert at Dbl’O. I think all the magic from SuperBand is wearing off. Heh…Singapore NEVER had a market for singers. And the attitude of the singers matter a lot. Most of them I’ll say have this snooty attitude after the competition. I know that life has to return to what it used to be but don’t forget that you wanted to choose this path and with it comes other “responsibilities”. When you wanted those votes, you pleaded with us and were so friendly. Now that you’ve got that little recognition, you ignore us. Where’s the logic in that?

Anyway, Sis and I agreed that the concert was a little of a disappointment. It didn’t feel like a concert at all but another MediaCorp recording. Host was the same one from the competition. The songs they sang except for 2 Japanese songs were all sung during the competition. Afterall, Lucify started out being a J-Rock band, so we expected them to sing more Japanese songs. I even imagined that I’ll be going to watch Blackstones or Trapnest. OMG…Ling, it’s all your fault now that I’m stuck on NANA.

SAT this coming Saturday. I can’t believe I’m going through this another time. That little bit more confidence I had was kinda wiped out yesterday when I was attempting a paper. I ALWAYS seem to run out of time. And I hate this fact when I’m happily working on the maths problems. It’s not that I don’t know how to work it out but I need more time to attempt the problem. Bleargh.

miso shiru

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Please pardon my retardedness (is there such a word?) Mrs Masuda hasn’t been doing her homework since August.

So the rumours are true. Tego and Massu have a new song titled “Miso Soup”. Haha…fancy singing about miso soup. Hmmm…but it suits Massu coz the boy loves food. Have yet to hear the song. I read about it in the forums but didn’t think too much. Saturday, Yui told me about it and I was feeling a little guilty not knowing. Hello, how can Mrs Masuda not know what is going on with her hubby? :rofl:

Anyway, someone in JPM actually met them in Sweden. KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I think I’ll just be smiling like an idiot if I see Massu. The boy is too genki. :rofl: Can’t stop kyaa-ing now…

Idol is back in action on Yui’s tagboard. Idol is well…*sigh* just idol. No one, repeat NO ONE can compare to idol.

shoot

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First time in 2-3 months I enter Binan no Nikki and what do I see?

Masuda Tattata (63)

63 entries?! Shit. Major reading to do.

I’m thinking of changing Kuro-chan’s wallpaper to Mike. But I feel like I’m betraying Massu. And when the hell am I THAT crazy over Mike?! *shakes myself* Bloop bloop bloop…