the smell of home

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“Chou ii kan ji~~~”

I finally remembered to check out Tego and Massu’s “Miso Soup” on youtube last night. Ne~e…I wasn’t really paying attention to the meaning of the song though I caught it coz I was busy trying to figure out what both of them were singing. English version. So, trying to make out their “engrish”. Ok, I’m exaggerating a little. I could hear some sentences.

The familiar taste of Mum’s miso soup. The taste of home. All the little things that make you think of home. I always smell my jacket coz it has the smell of the fabric softener which reminds me of my mum and home.

I think the song has similiar meaning to Sankyoudai’s “Onigishi”.

Apart from that, Per was supplying me with all the youtube links to DBSK’s clips. Xiah is so cute! :rofl:

The weekend flew past quite fast. Saturday, Sis and I went to Lucify’s concert at Dbl’O. I think all the magic from SuperBand is wearing off. Heh…Singapore NEVER had a market for singers. And the attitude of the singers matter a lot. Most of them I’ll say have this snooty attitude after the competition. I know that life has to return to what it used to be but don’t forget that you wanted to choose this path and with it comes other “responsibilities”. When you wanted those votes, you pleaded with us and were so friendly. Now that you’ve got that little recognition, you ignore us. Where’s the logic in that?

Anyway, Sis and I agreed that the concert was a little of a disappointment. It didn’t feel like a concert at all but another MediaCorp recording. Host was the same one from the competition. The songs they sang except for 2 Japanese songs were all sung during the competition. Afterall, Lucify started out being a J-Rock band, so we expected them to sing more Japanese songs. I even imagined that I’ll be going to watch Blackstones or Trapnest. OMG…Ling, it’s all your fault now that I’m stuck on NANA.

SAT this coming Saturday. I can’t believe I’m going through this another time. That little bit more confidence I had was kinda wiped out yesterday when I was attempting a paper. I ALWAYS seem to run out of time. And I hate this fact when I’m happily working on the maths problems. It’s not that I don’t know how to work it out but I need more time to attempt the problem. Bleargh.

mentality of a child

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Coming from an English-speaking family, speaking in Mandarin is quite a hassle for me. But…QUICK! Congratulate me now. I managed to answer a phone call with a Mandarin speaking customer. It’s not the usual call-in to activate a policy. She asked about the terms and conditions so the phone call was slightly longer. I managed to answer her questions mostly in Mandarin with just a few English words.

Sure I can read Mandarin, I’ve just finished reading a Mandarin book by the way. But reading and speaking the language is totally different. I can always feel myself grasping for the right words when speaking in Mandarin. And when I can’t find the right words, I have to go one big round to explain something simple and most of the time the other party ends up getting more puzzled.

Continuing from yesterday’s post… Another thing that makes my grandparents’ stay quite unpleasant for Sis and I is the fact that grandpa does not know the meaning of privacy. I caught him opening and rummaging through the tray of pens in my drawer in the study room. Fine. I have nothing super secretive in that drawer so I just tolerate it. Next, I saw him touching Sis’s things at her computer. Now, Sis is VERY particular about people touching her things and putting them back in the EXACT position. I couldn’t tolerate it anymore and told Dad. Dad told me I have the right to tell him off but do it in a nice way.

I went to grandpa and told him not to touch Sis’s things coz if she found out, she’ll scream at him. Guess what he said? He just mumbled that he didn’t touch her things. DIDN’T TOUCH HER THINGS! WTH. I just saw him touching her things and he just denied it…or rather lied about it.

That’s why we dislike grandpa touching our things. Not being selfish or disrespectful. When we catch him doing something wrong, he usually denies/lies about it. Not only that, we dislike him touching our things coz USUALLY he spoils/breaks it. To support my statement…

Later on, Sis checked the stuff on her table and found that her pen had leaked and there was a small pool of blue ink on the table. Now, the pen always had the cap on and it wasn’t faced down coz using one’s common sense, you wouldn’t leave it uncapped and faced down coz the ink will leak. WHO ELSE? Sis started screaming at grandpa and what did he do? Just gave a little laugh. WTH. It’s CERTAINLY NOT FUNNY ok. If she didn’t discover it, the ink might have permanantly stained the table. :angry:

To think that an 80 year old man would have the mentality of a child and the lack of manners. Hmph.

Recently, somebody pissed me off bigtime. I never really liked her in the first place. I mean, there are times when she is nice but it irks me that she thinks she is so damn matured when she’s not. Worse, she went to brag about going clubbing to someone younger than her. For what? You want that younger person to praise you till the sun don’t shine? Is going clubbing such a BIG DEAL? Is being able to consume alcohol such a BIG DEAL? Tell me it’s such a big deal after you have to face the toilet bowl and end up almost puking your guts out.

Please love yourself a little more. Dress decently. I have never come across anyone who thinks her great assets are meant to be shown off like that. Even Ling complained to me about having to wear shirts coz there’s a gaping hole when she lifts her arms. Everyone is so afraid to expose themselves while you are wanting to expose yourself. Sure, guys may be attracted to such things but you’re also inviting the wrong kind of attention.

Bottomline: You were given a brain. Use it wisely.

management lessons

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Today’s a bad day. 🙁

I had to handle 2 problematic calls which of course, I pick the calls, MY ass is on the line. To kena twice in a day makes me feel like I’m going to be suay for 3 years.

I cannot understand why people refuse to accept the alternative and want to persist in forcing you into a corner. Just as you want me to understand your position, please try to understand mine. I am not in the position where I can make decisions and promise you anything. We try to give you the best we can offer at the moment while we rectify the problem but that does not mean the change can be made instantaneously. I don’t have magic. I can’t just wave a wand now and make everything ok. So stop trying to make me feel damn small. Stop thinking you can insult my intelligence just coz I can’t argue back. Bottomline: don’t think that just coz you’re the customer, you’re ALWAYS right. It’s not true ok.

The first call made me so frustrated and pissed off that I just wrote “FUCK” on my rough paper. I was even ready to break my pencil in two. Anyway, I wrote some angry words next to her name on my call log sheet. She’s condemned by me. :angry: :angry: :angry:

I need some management lessons. Tell me how to be empathise and yet stay firm. I realise when I empathise with the customer, they somehow get bolder and continue on and on. Oh well, in other words, they finally succeed in making me feel small and I end up having to escalate the call to my team leader. It’s so frustrating. The normal me would have just argued back and even put down the phone if I feel like it. But here, I have to (pretend) to be patient and understanding when I’m bursting inside to tell the person on the line to just fuck off.

your name in my notebook

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Sudden thoughts.

I didn’t blog about watching Death Note on Saturday!!! How could I have forgotten something so important?! :glare: Heh, so Sis, Jie Min and I caught the movie on Saturday. It was good.

Sis and I agree that Light (藤原竜也) reminds us of Ohno from Arashi. That’s coz his face is round, just like Ohno. Sis was kinda disappointed when she saw who was acting as L. That woman lahz…didn’t believe me when I told her the guy is the one acting as Aya’s senior in 1リットルの涙. Haha, she said he looked so cool on the poster.

L is a pretty weird but cool person. Somehow he eats nothing but sweet food. Doughnuts speared on a BBQ skewer. Sugar cubes stacked up tall and later dropped into his cup of tea. Tea stirred with a lollipop. Who would have thought of all these?

Anyway, after watching the movie, it makes one want to threaten anyone who irritates you with “You had better not annoy me or I’ll write your name in the notebook.” Death of an unknown cause. No previous medical history but a sudden heart attack. Sweet.

The God of Death loves eating apples. Do you?

Random thought #1: I shall add this under my wishlist… Dining in 小老板’s shop in Osaka with Per. I hope Per can save up enough money by next year so my wish can be fulfilled before I go off to study for 4 years (another ‘hopefully’ case). *cross fingers and toes*

Random thought #2: Seishun de FEVARrrrr! Mucha kucha na FUCHAaaaa ga ii ne~~~ Mike is cuter than Golf!!! :rofl: Since yesterday, DBSK’s “Rising Sun” and GYM’s “フィーバーとフューチャー” has been on my mind.

Help! It’s the attack of the little ants! A lot of ants appearing in my study room. Wonder where they come from. PK, can you tell your friends to stay away?

how i wish

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Selamat Hari Raya to all my malay friends.

Today is coming to an end. The long-awaited holiday. *really? raises eyebrow* Tomorrow will be back to work. How I wish everyday could be a holiday and that I am loaded so I can go all around the world.

Yesterday in the office, everyone was in the holiday mood. Then the holiday came. And now it’s going to end. 😥

Went to Sof’s house for lunch. Yea yea…I was late again. Sof, why do you have to live so far?

I need to stop spending so much. But I’m dying to go shopping for clothes… Blah ah.

Olivia’s new song as Reira, “Wish” sounds more rockish. I much prefer “A Little Pain”. But Olivia looks pretty as ever, just like a doll.

I finally caught GYM’s PV for “フィーバーとフューチャー” on youtube. Yea…Mike is cuter lahz.

it cuts deep

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As she shared with us that very little bit on what was going on and how she felt, I couldn’t help but feel sorry and angry at the same time. No one should have to go through this sort of thing.

Thinking back about the past. I’m sorry, I cannot erase it from my mind totally. Simply coz of the hurt and disappointment I felt. I cannot understand why people choose to believe a one-sided story and then ostracise someone else. It’s really disappointing to find out that the same people you call friends would do this kinda thing to you. When I say ostracise here, it doesn’t have to mean to totally keep clear from someone. But simply the strange feeling they give you when you’re with them. Like on the surface they talk to you, but probably deep down they think otherwise. It’s like mental vibes to tell you your presence is not wanted.

She is going through exactly the same thing now.

It’s shocking. It really teaches you not to trust people that easily. But is it wrong to try to believe that everyone has that bit of goodness in them? Is it wrong to show the real, genuine you only to become vulnerable to such attacks that you never saw coming? You may think it’s nothing coz as time passes, we may talk again like as if it’s forgotten. But let me tell you, it cuts deep.

trying to adjust

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Come home, supposed to adjust back my sleeping time. Couldn’t. Was running around shopping for last minute presents. Running off to birthday chalets. Only left me more exhausted than ever. Finally found the time today to actually sleep in and get my internal clock back on track.

Grandparents from Malaysia have come down to stay with us coz grandma’s health problems need to be addressed. Her doctor in Malaysia sounds like bad news to me and my relatives in Malaysia haven’t got the time out of their busy schedules to tend to her. Mum took her to the same eye doctor my family members go to.

Anyway, with my grandparents here, it also means less computer time. So, photos won’t be up till later when I get round to it.

I have a million things to do.
1. Photos to be uploaded.
2. Desktop to be cleared.
3. Hard drive to be cleared coz it is running out of space and the stupid warning keeps popping up.
4. Emails to be answered. Especially tcg trade requests all thrown under pending.
5. Pile of stuff to be sorted in my room.
6. Register for SAT and prepare for it.
7. Look through the papers I collected and seriously consider about school.
8. My dress needs to be altered.

Randomness…
1. I’m in love with long and knee-high socks.
2. I’m looking for another pair of denim shorts.
3. Make-up gives some colour to my face so I look better in photos.

coming home soon

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I wrote this long entry yesterday but the laptop decided to hang just as I wanted to post it. So, damn…it’s gone. I’m not about to retype it though.

It’s my last day in Champaign, Illinois. Will be doing my last minute shopping of candy and more clothes? Haha. Then tonight will be grand squeezing time. Squeeze everything into my luggage.

I will miss my new friends here. Man Ling, I will miss you loads just as much as you miss me. It was cool finding a friend here especially since I don’t know anyone around here except for my relatives. Accompanying each other during that one week, going to classes. Your Rhetoric class was fun though I didn’t really participate much. Calculus was kinda fun with the professor always grumbling about the automatic blackboards. 110 was ok, although I can’t remember half the stuff taught but at least Professor Loui didn’t make me feel like falling asleep. Haha, I will always remember the Samuel L. Jackson circuit. 190 was ok as well. Bad thing I couldn’t really remember the stuff and was getting kinda lost with the way it was taught. Then, the last part where you and your lab partner was building the little motor boat. The excitement when the thing finally worked. Haha, won’t forget that moment. Alrighty, here’s wishing you all the best with your studies. Hope you don’t get too stressed out with exams and stuff coz I seriously think you can do it. 🙂

To Zhi Xiu, Daniel, Wei Hong and the rest of the SSA members, thanks for letting me gatecrash on your little party (Pot-b-que)? It was fun knowing you guys and getting myself reassured that if I decide to study in UIUC, I won’t be alone coz there will be a bunch of Singaporeans around. Haha…it was also fun hanging around the food fest. Zhi Xiu, your (one spoon of) chicken rice was good. So was the Milo Dinosaur. Haha…

The little bug in the WordPress comments is well…bugging me. Everytime I edit a comment, any apostrophed word will end up having a slash in front. I’m hoping that the bug is resolved in the new version update. Going to update my version once I get home. Woohoo.

the academic bit

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Almost 3 weeks in the States. Not that I don’t have internet connection but I have been rather lazy to blog. Haha…there are just too many things to do. Daytime, aunty wants to take me around to schools and stuff. So most of the time I’m left with night time. Of which, I’m trying to divide my time to use the net and work on my cross stitch. I haven’t even begun reading the book I brought along!!!

Alrighty, so I completed last last week following Man Ling around to her classes. There’s this course that she takes – Introduction to Computer Systems which is pretty much Computing Mathematics which I took in year 1 of Poly. Binary numbers and stuff. The way it’s taught is so different. Gawd, I don’t remember it being so hard to digest! Was sitting in the lecture feeling all lost even though I’ve learnt those stuff before. Oh another thing, I sort of forget stuff quite easily so I can’t quite recall all the formulas and all. It all looks familiar and that’s it. Anyway, Man Ling was having difficulty with that subject and I wished I was back home so I could lend her my poly notes. Would make life so much easier for her. Darn.

Next week was spent moving around looking at other schools. Let’s have a breakdown of what I think of the schools I’ve visited so far…

1. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Public university. Freakin’ huge school. Good points: Lots of company around. Fellow Singaporeans and people very much like me around. So many student organisations that I don’t think I’ll have any trouble finding one I like. Even though I haven’t seen the whole list of organisations, I’m sure there’s a Japanese cultural group of some sort around. The university closest to my relatives. Bad points: Lectures are a rather huge group so there’s not much of a one-to-one communication with your professor. Got to be super independant to survive.

2. DePaul University
A Catholic university located in Chicago. Yea…the city. Private university. Good points: For 12 years of my school life (kindergarten-secondary) I’ve been in Catholic schools. I pretty much like the order they have. People seem to be much kinder as well coz there is a focus on sharing with one another. People are more forgiving. Well, that could be my perception… The university has nice halls which resemble the inside of a church. Uncle Weng thinks this school is cosy. Hehe…Mum is going to love this university once she hears it’s a Catholic school. Bad points: Since it’s a private university, tuition is going to be more expensive.

3. Loyola University Chicago
Another private university. Jesuit Catholic school. I don’t really get that cosy feeling from this school. Maybe coz we went there on Labor Day weekend and students weren’t around. Good points: It’s next to Michigan Lake which looks like an ocean. Haha. Bad points: No cosy feeling?

4. Millikin University
Private university again. Located in Decatur. Aunty told me Sis loved this school the last time she visited. Got to talk to a Computer Science professor, very funny guy. Could see that he really loved what he was doing. Gave me a good overview of Computer Science. I sort of knew what Computer Science was – more on the programming part which I sort of hate. So I’m not too keen on Computer Science but well, I’ll keep my options open for now. Good points: Has that one-to-one communication with your professor. I guess that’s some kind of motivation for students who need a little push to move along. Bad points: Smaller school = less students of my kind? Less or no other Singaporeans around.

5. Indiana State University
Located in Terra-Haute. The student who gave us a tour of the school gave a nice overview of the school. Good points: Buildings are all connected to one another which means you won’t have to go out in the cold in winter. Smaller university so has more of a one-to-one communication with professors. That’s something like Millikin. Bad points: Away from relatives?

6. Parkland College
A 2-year community college. Something like our JC? That’s what the States is so good. People are given chances. So if you don’t quite make the grade for the university of your choice, you can always go to a community college and then transfer to the university. Credits are also transferred so you don’t have to worry about 6 years of education. I was really lucky to have met the International Academic Advisor, Erin. She really inspired me. And since she was around my age, it was easier to relate to her. Now I sort of understand what Dad has been saying all along. Go out and experience things, never know when you’ll love something or not. Good points: Transition to the university of your choice is slightly easier. You’re given a chance even though you don’t quite make the grade. Bad points: Didn’t really like the environment. If I’m not careful, I might end up with the wrong company and not take things seriously.

Collected a number of brochures and even application forms. Will need to really look through everything and decide when I get back home. Right now am more favourable of UIUC, DePaul and Millikin. Also will be resitting for SAT to get a better score. Although my current score is ok to apply for schools but I think I want to get a better score so to have higher chance of getting accepted to those schools I apply to.

I like the flexibility here. Back home, it’s like do or die. You’re “forced” to choose something and either you stick to it or drop out. Here, I can enter university as a freshman with an undeclared major if I haven’t really made up my mind on what to major in. I take some general subjects in the first year and by Junior year, I should decide on my major. Even if I declare my major as a freshman, I can also switch majors if I sort of decide on something else. They say that most freshmen switch majors at least 3-4 times. Not that I really want to do that but it’s not something unheard of.

People are given chances if they really want to learn. Like I talked about community colleges earlier. Back home, it’s either you make the grade or not. And it’s not about which college or university you’ve been. As the academic advisor in Millikin said, when employers look at your resume, they are not going to bother about which education path you chose but what you learnt and what you can offer the company. Hopefully that’s the same with companies in Singapore.

Next entry will talk about non-academic stuff…see you!