underaged drinking

*sigh*

If things could get any worse. Just found out from Jpopmusic forums that Uchi got caught for underaged drinking. Apparently he was drunk and made a nuisance of himself in Sentai park. Johnny’s has decided to put him on indefinite suspension. Reports on Yahoo Japan News.

A part of me thinks that he should have known better than to go do something stupid like that. As a singer/public figure, you are all the more noticed.

A part of me feels sorry for him. Coz entering showbiz at an early age, I wonder whether these boys really know what they want. It’s like a sacrifice they have to make. Trading their “normal” life for showbiz. And when they do things like that, it’s not wrong in a sense coz afterall, it’s just a part of growing up. That you have to learn to be responsible for your actions. But you can’t help but think that sometimes they do such stuff coz they yearn for a normal life back again.

What makes me angry is that the adults who were with him, why didn’t they stop him? Knowing that he is underaged. Sure they are also punished along with him but their punishment is so freakin’ light. WTH. They ARE RESPONSIBLE for this as well. You know how adults think they know it all just coz they are adults? So why didn’t they do ANYTHING?

Well…let’s just hope it doesn’t get worse…hopefully Uchi makes it through this nightmare.

the future in my hands


I am now officially a polytechnic graduate.

No way am I going to get discounted bus rides anymore. Actually I am aware that I’m paying the full adult fare now since the beeping sound has changed from the usual “toot toot” to “beep” when I tap my card. This kinda sucks…

I couldn’t really sleep the night before. The whole time I was just worrying whether everything will be alright. Whether I would fall on stage and make myself the laughing stock of the whole cohort. I seriously didn’t want history to repeat itself. Coz back during secondary school graduation, I tripped over a power point on stage and kinda lost balance. Although I didn’t fall, I felt darn embarassed.

I couldn’t really smile when the photographers took my picture. So nervous…just wanted to get it done with without making any mistakes.

And then it was over. *phew*

Oh…didn’t blog about yesterday’s dinner. Met up with the 7ners for dinner. It was supposed to be Pwen’s farewell dinner coz she’ll be leaving for Australia soon for further studies. We went to Sofra, a turkish restaurant recommended by Soffie and Up. The fish was really good.

Then we hung out at TCC at Bugis while waiting for a very late Jo to arrive. She was stuck at work. As usual, all the jokes and talk. Uncovering some secrets…which Up has pleaded with us not to blog about it. Haha…

Oh! Per! *raises hand* I want to see the Popolo magazine as well. Hmmm…but you have to translate for me. Haha…

Haven’t watched the news for awhile. There’s this big hoo-ha going on about NKF. HAH! Knew this was coming. Apparently the CEO of NKF has a pay packet + bonus of more than a million dollars? Which makes the public think where the hell their donated money is going. And recently they have been holding lots of charity shows with the claim that they have now extended their help to cancer patients and children. Like my gawd, how the hell do you expect us to keep donating to you? Money does not grow from trees neither does it fall from the sky you know. In a year we have like over 10 charity shows, I don’t even have enough money to spend on myself.

Hello…why the hell do you need gold-plated taps for your washbasin?

And then you go do stupid things like this. Then people lose their trust in you. And who suffers in the end? All the patients have to suffer. Even if you lose the case, you probably just lose a few million and then get your sorry ass out of NKF. But the patients? What are they going to do now that people are withdrawing their pledge to donate money? And you can’t blame people for doing that coz they geniunely want to help but you toyed with their trust. So now it has become a “once bitten, twice shy” situation.

guys in certain clothing

You MUST see this…

Ryo and Uchi in their new drama がんばっていきまっしょい. Uchi looks so 帅~~~

YES! I downloaded the first episode. *pumps fist in the air* Shall watch it tonight.

Ok ok…back to the topic. I realised that guys in Japanese high school uniform *like the one Uchi and Ryo are wearing* look cute. *slap* Of course, the guy must be cute also lahz… Realised this when I was watching the episode of 15 Sai no Blues, Tego’s 4 part drama. OMG…I’m becoming a paedophile. First Massu…then guys in high school uniform…

It’s just like how I think guys in white shirts look 帅. The untucked kind. Doesn’t really matter if it’s long or short sleeved. Coz I think white is a pure colour…makes you look clean and friendly??? HAHAHA…

Guys in sweaters are also cool. Coz if you hug them, you’ll feel so warm~~~ That’s my thinking…could be wrong…

so listen to the radio

Before I plunge into the day’s happenings, let me introduce the songs on my radio blog. *points to the left* I just added 4 more songs yesterday. =)

Marion Raven – Break You, currently one of my faves. This is my first favourite song of Marion. The whole album sounds a whole lot different from her M2M days. M2M was more pop-ish. Her solo album is more rock-ish. But whether it’s M2M or Marion Raven, I admire her talent.

Marion Raven – End Of Me, second favourite Marion song.

Lene Marlin – Story, this song is really very meaningful. I think it’s about a friend who has depression and committed suicide. Coz of how I see my own sister struggle with depression, this song holds a lot of meaning for me. It really reflects how other people look at them. I feel angry that people often treat them like aliens. Or worse still, pretend that they understand but totally don’t and in the end hurt them a lot more. This brings to the whole issue of me thinking that teachers never really cared. Whatever they said was more like empty promises. Fuck. If you really cared, Sis wouldn’t have broke down in school. If you really cared, students wouldn’t be committing suicide. I really felt bad at that time that coz I wasn’t in school (in SIP company), I couldn’t be there to help her. *gives dirty look at that DAMN FUCKING lecturer* All the talk about how you understood, YOU NEVER REALLY DID coz in the end, you turned round and blamed her instead.

Lene Marlin – Disguise, some lines in this song reflects how I truly feel at times. How I never really dared to show some parts of me to protect myself from getting hurt. From young, I learnt not to cry so that people wouldn’t bully me. But sometimes it’s tiring to keep this barrier up coz I know that sometimes I’m not that strong and really need to cry. It’s good now that I slowly accept these emotions, that it isn’t wrong to show them. To admit my weaknesses and that it isn’t something shameful to let people know of them.

NewS – Zutto, this is the sweetest song. I wrote in a previous diaryland entry on this song. Discussing about how it would be good to have a relationship where the 2 of us could walk hand in hand, not saying a word but yet know what each other is thinking. Just that simple…

NewS – Cherish, another nice NewS song. This song really sparked off my liking for NewS. =)

Mari Sasaki – The Cape Of Storms (Piano version), a song originally sung by Hyde. This piano version was in 下弦の月 (Last Quarter). The tune Chiaki played on the piano.

Kanjani8 – Osaka Rainy Blues, according to Per whose Japanese is way way better than mine, she says that this song is really sad. There is a strong usage of Kansaiben in it. Something like this person cannot forget and cannot go back to the way his relationship was…

Kanjani8 – Naniwa Iroha Bushi…*chants* Sora! Yoi to ko sassa no yoi sassa! A very matsuri-feel song. Good to listen now since it is the 夏祭 (summer festival) period in Japan. Will be going to Osaka in time for their summer festival. Wearing my æµ´è¡£ (summer kimono) and watching 花火 (fireworks) . Really can’t wait. Sort of like a once in a lifetime kinda experience. The PV for this song is really nice too. Uchi looks so cute doing the traditional dance hand actions. ^_^

Please listen to the songs. Hope you like them as much as I do~~~

Spent a rather eventful day. Getting a new hard drive to back up all the clips and PVs and what not. Space is never enough when you see how I, Sis and Per do our downloading. Haha. I assure you that you will look at this issue in a whole new light. Oh well, we met James at Sim Lim, needed some “expert” help. With that, Per and I got the 160GB internal hard drive.

Met Chien Ren’s brother coz he needed to get something changed as well. Had lunch at Amirans. A restaurant that Per recommended we go try.

Headed back to my house to install it in. Haha, James kept exclaiming that I’m an IT student coz I really had no idea what he was doing when I’m supposed to know coz I went through FCSOS. HAHA…see I told you guys I’m not smart. I think the main reason why I don’t remember this stuff is coz school labs are like ineffective for me. Usually you pair up to do this kinda stuff and since the guys are like experts in this, most of the time they do up everything. There is never enough time to actually fiddle around with the stuff. Secondly, Mum will not be too pleased to see me fiddling with my own computer. Well, she DID pay for the computer. Although I think this is the best way for me to learn. To have someone beside me who knows this stuff…then I can try out this combination or that, or just ask why do I have to do it this way and what does this do. Right now, the inside looks just like a mass of wires and itty bitty chippy things. God knows what is what.

It’s really like how I learnt to use the VCR…all the functions and stuff. I watch Dad fix it up, read the manual, fiddle around and then go “oh, so this function does this”.

After dinner, the 3 of us went over to Per’s house to help her install the hard drive as well. I guess she is damn happy now coz then she can download more Honjani episodes and all those Kanjani8 clips without having to worry about the lack of space.

I just realised that time passes really quickly and I have barely started doing what I proposed to do before it is time to get a job.

WHY IS THE MASSU SITE STILL DOWN?! Now I am stuck with only ONE FREAKIN’ EPISODE of Kinpachi Sensei.

wishes

Today is your birthday. I struggled within myself of whether to even bother or not. After what happened, you and I will never be that close again. You never even apologised to me. To me, apologising would mean that you acknowledged what you did was not quite right and you realise it. Or at least bring up whatever you were unhappy about.

It made me think back of my birthday this year. The disappointment I faced. This wave of jealousy comes over me. Coz I know you’ll be surrounded by them today.

But yet, I felt it’s wrong. Coz these are 2 different issues. How can I condemn you for everything? You still have your good points. And if I wanted to call myself a Christian, shouldn’t I be more forgiving? It’s like practising what you preach.

So I messaged you to wish you. And I really meant it.

the interview

[edited at 12.07am]
Always wanted to treat this place as a diary but it seems that I can’t really do that now. Like I said before, I’m really normal. I laugh/smile when I’m happy. I cry when I’m down. I have my bouts of anger and bitterness. But if all of it really went here, people are bound to treat them as personal attacks rather than my side of the story.

So I say, you want the truth from me, come get it from me. You got a problem with me, have the guts to say it straight in my face.
[edited]

Went for my SIP interview at NCS today. It went ok. *phew* Hmmm…somehow I still like people from the HR department. Friendly and the approachable sort. Makes you feel comfortable.

Waited for Sis at Bugis coz she had something to settle, then went back together. Per joined us at Long John’s coz she forgot her house keys.

Ok…lack of stuff to talk about so I’ll just stop.

truths and lies

A bit nervous about tomorrow’s interview. After talking to Sis, she did manage to take away a little of my fear. But I really wonder am I up to it. Believe…

Sof, hope the play went ok. I’m sure you did fine. 🙂 *smilez*

I wonder if that was for me. If it was, I’m disappointed. Have I ever lied to you? I dare you to look me square in the eye and answer me. If your answer is a “yes” then I have nothing more to say except that you chose to listen to hear-says.

Watched “Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen”. Hmmm…Lindsay Lohan getting quite popular I say. Coming up is “Mean Girls” which Lindsay also stars in. We almost finished this whole tub of popcorn. Popcorn overdose.

perfect

[edited at 12.07am]
Argh…I’m going crazy coz my computer is going cranky on me again. This time it’s the internet explorer. Everytime I close a window, internet explorer needs to close coz of some freakin’ error.

Got a call regarding SIP. Asked me to come down for an interview on Thursday. NCS. I’m having mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m excited. On the other hand, the whole no confidence thing is playing up. What if I screw up while doing the job? Gawd…I talk as if I got the job already. *smacks forehead*

Met Xianglin at PS. Had dinner at Pasta Mania. Although it was a short time together, I enjoyed it all the same. 🙂
[edited]

Yes…back with a new entry.

Just read Shuyun’s blog and I couldn’t agree more with what she entered in her entry.

Perfect…perfectionism. Something people look for. Something people strive for. Something people apologise for not being enough. Everybody expects differently therefore, where do you draw the line?

“when i miss you, it’s the imperfection that i miss.” Take a look at that. Now think about it. Isn’t it true? Coz of your imperfections, it makes you all the more different from another. All the more unique.

WWJD?

[edited at 12.18am]
Wahahahaha…I finished watching “Winter Sonata” liaoz. What shall I “conquer” next? Actually I haven’t finished watching “Antique Cake Shop”. But the vcds are quite screwed up…or maybe it’s the player. I think I really regret not buying “Kizarazu Cat’s Eye” or “Pika*Nchi”. Okie dokie…need to get out of the room coz Sis is sleeping.
[edited]

Can one person alone make a difference? Can one person alone bring the truth to light? If it isn’t possible, wouldn’t be walking away the only way? But what if your heart doesn’t want to?

Reading a blog, staring at the title of an Ayu song. Oh, how the title stands out at this point of time. I think I’m way past anger now. More like the disappointment is settling in. I realise I’ve changed. I would no longer do some things which would be considered as childish and rash.

If there’s one thing I learnt from my transition of being an 18 year old to a 19 year old *although it really doesn’t matter now since they are just numbers*, that would be “acceptance”. I vaguely remember a verse from the bible which said something like “help me lord, to accept the things I cannot change”.

But really, WWJD? “WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?”

wasting away

Nothing much today. Bought dinner from Pasta Mania. Since Wei En served me, she gave me a discount. Of course, like how a woman shops when she’s at the mall, I stopped by OP to check out the new stuff. Nothing much but I got myself a grey racer-back top. Yay! One more off my wishlist.

Couldn’t resist getting a My Little Pony from Toys R’ Us too. Hee…

Sis is highly irritable today. In one of her almost depression moods. Little bit then get irritated until going to cry that kinda pattern. She didn’t go to school. Just slept the whole day.

I don’t know. I have this unexplainable anger whenever I see her sleeping the whole day, not going to school. I feel she’s not helping herself. Just wasting her whole life away. If you know you won’t have enough sleep then why do you make yourself sleep in the wee hours of the morning. Don’t tell me you’re doing schoolwork. Half the time I see you doing other stuff. You don’t do your stuff, then panic when the deadline gets nearer. People start hounding you and you can’t take it.

Why? Why make yourself so miserable? You got a problem. You want to overcome the problem. Then start doing something to help yourself. But I guess I won’t really understand what she thinks. Depression is really complicated.