let’s watch the children argue

by

In just a few hours’ time, the citizens of Singapore will decide what they want. But for now, we’ll endure the ridiculous number of news reports which practically eat up the whole time slot for the news on tv. Let’s hurry through the sensational news (which I like watching by the way) and give up the rest of the time watching adults argue like little kids over senseless little issues.

I pick at your bad habits and blow them up so other people will think you’ve been a bad child. And then you’ll have no choice but to defend yourself and then you try to pick at my bad habits too so we can get even. And coz I have a little more power than you have, I’m going to kick your ass so hard that you wish you had never opened your mouth in the first place. Kids, can we stop fighting here and focus on why you guys are even up on stage? Oh, and make sure you realise what’s coming out of your mouth, be realistic and actually fulfill those promises.

Not to mention that the people who watch these silly little arguments going on actually make sparkly banners like when we go watch our favourite idols perform at a concert. I’m horrified. I truly am.

So you think we’re being childish and don’t know what’s going on? What about you? Don’t you think you guys are being childish too? We may not know everything but we aren’t totally ignorant.

Anyway, while the rest of the family is out casting their (oh-so-precious) vote, I’m going to be at home feeling grateful for the peace at last. No more related news reports eating up my sensational news spots. No more annoying little lorries blasting out messages in whatever language available for God knows how many times a day. Incidently, I bet the drivers driving these lorries can actually recite the messages in the various languages.

“We can talk about the faceless evil shadow creatures underneath our clothes. We can talk about the government conspiracies…”

reason

by

I know what you want to say next. It’s all too familiar. Too many times have I been warned, sometimes bordering on being threatened that you have an uncontrollable rage and I should just shut up. But what I want to know then is whether deficiency overrules reason? Frankly speaking, sometimes I wonder whether you are just using it as an excuse to shut me up.

It hurts that I can’t argue my point. And leads me to wonder whether we live to please others only or also ourselves? That we have to give the politically correct answers and not what we actually feel. I remember myself typing these exact same words for a friend.

When I do things by myself so as to prevent myself from getting into situations where we end up quarrelling, I get scolded as being selfish. When I let you do things first so that I wouldn’t be scolded as being selfish, I point it out to you, instead of seeing a little smile as a thank you, “I never asked you to do this for me” gets shoved back in my face. When you point out other’s mistakes, they are expected to listen and reflect. When we point out your mistakes, we are expected to shut up. Where then does reason come in?

Before I’m being accused something I’m not (something which I hate most), you think I do not realise but sometimes I do. I know there are times when I’m being わがまま. Then the times when I don’t realise, you point it out with reason and I agree and reflect.

I’m not expecting you to say you’re sorry coz given your strong nature, even if you felt a little sorry you would choose to remain silent or worse, still try to argue the parts where you’re right. Just as you know me in some ways, I know you in some ways too.

so you want to be a star?

by

Dreaming of being a star? Better think again. It ain’t that glamourous afterall. It’s a cruel world out there. It’s not enough even if you have good vocals. You need to be able to dance, act, host etc… 3-4 days, that’s all the time you’re given to learn a new dance. Slow learners, you can forget about eating or sleeping until you nail it.

Was watching this clip on Berryz工房’s journey from the day the unit was formed. Mind you, these girls started out when they were only 9-11 years old.

I really wonder how they juggled school and work. Work seems to be neverending. Recording. Learn the dance. Activities to promote the single/album. Back to the studio to record new song. A neverending cycle.

First incident. Dance lesson for first single, “あなたなしでは生きてゆけない”. The girls are formed into 2 groups to practise some dance steps. Momoko, Miyabi, Maiha and Chinami in one group. Saki, Yurina and Risako in another. Maasa wasn’t present for this lesson. After the first group danced, Maiha got reprimanded by the dance teacher that she needed to practise more. While the next group danced for the teacher, the first group should be practising at the back of the room. But somehow, Maiha was sitting alone in a corner…

Then comes the insecurity. The feeling that you’re so far behind the rest…the fear that you can’t make it.

So what if you’re in pain, life still has to go on. You can’t just give up as you like.

So you think you can handle it? This post is a reminder for all those who dream of becoming a star. It isn’t just what you see on tv. All the glitz and glamour. Instructors don’t care whether you can or cannot coz even if you cannot, you better make that cannot into a can.

Sometimes I wonder whether Maiha left the group coz she found it hard to juggle both work and studies. Especially since it seems that she is the slow learner for dance in the group. The company just released the statement that she graduated from the group to focus on her studies. I’m just speculating. What I’m thinking may not be true.

nijuuichi

by

Supposed to have a birthday post but was too tired after all the celebrating and all. Anyway, happy belated birthday 剛くんとMandy Mooreと私. I share the same birthday with a few stars. Hahaha…

Dinner with 7ners at Ramen Ten in Far East Plaza. Luckily no showers of blessing again.

People expect 21st birthdays to be celebrated in style. Throw a huge party, invite almost every friend you know, have a blast. But I chose to have a quiet one. Same like the past 2 years? I don’t want to invite people and then they turn up just coz but after that, they probably don’t even remember when’s my birthday anymore. It’ll be even better if someone just surprises me by remembering my birthday and call me up to say “hey, let’s have lunch or dinner together to celebrate.” But I think what makes this year’s birthday all the more memorable would have to be the cake.

Per baked it. :heart: :heart: :heart: So sweet! Both the thought and literally. Hahaha… Sof told me, but she didn’t need to tell me coz I could guess from the Japanese words on the cake. It was pretty sweet so some of us had a hard time finishing their slice. I personally thought it was a little sweet but fine if I had some water to down after eating it so I won’t get a sore throat. Anyway, I told Sis that even if it tasted way horrible I would still eat it. Coz it’s the thought and effort that went into baking it. :love:

Me doing the famous “手越です!” handsign with my present from the 7ners. It’s a Fossil watch. Photos of the watch further down. The box was specially chosen by Per. :heart: She was asking me to guess why she chose that box. I stared at the picture on the box for awhile…rollerskates… Then I figured out why. Confirmed it by asking her whether it had something to do with Massu. Yes. Massu is like a famous rollerskates/rollerblades boy in JE. Thanks Per for putting in so much thought even for the box. *big hugz* Oh…the little tiara is supposed to be passed down to each 7ner for their 21st birthday. Jo having received it first.

My presents for this year’s birthday. It began with the 2 pendants from my grandma. I’ve been wearing one ever since it was bought, weeks before my birthday. It’s a heart-shaped case with a movable diamond inside. The other is 2 dragonflies. Red packets from my aunt and Mum. Mum also topped up my bank account so it would not hit danger zone. Hehe…


Pooh bear! Another tami from Xianglin! She couldn’t get the one from Tomy coz it was sold out. This one’s from Sega but it’s just as cute. Sorry, my fascination for tamis will never die. Thanks best friend!!! *big hugz*


Closer look at the Fossil watch from 7ners. Gotta go remove some links though. My wrist is small. :rofl:


A pretty handphone strap from Joyce. It can be removed and used as a pendant as well. I was thinking what to remove on my overcrowded handphone but I guess I could also remove each heart and use it as charms for my charm bracelet? Thanks Joyce for the lovely present. *big hugz*

Thanks to Pwen, Cas and Cheng Huat for birthday wishes via sms. Pwen being the first one and all the way from Australia. I :heart: you!!! Thanks to Melanie for her birthday wish via friendster. Thanks to Ling for her birthday wish via her blog. Thanks to my family for making sure I had my blackforest cake. HAH! Sis and I won the battle of whether the fruits in the blackforest cake are blueberries or cherries. Check here if you don’t believe it.

finding fault with myself

by

I’m feeling crapz now. Just coz Mum came and asked me to scan and copy some stuff for her. The diagram fills the whole page but the damn copier just cuts off at a certain point. So I wasted about 8 pieces of paper. And the best part is the wasted paper can’t be used as rough paper. Confidential stuff so need to be shredded. ARGH!

Next, Per came to ask me some stuff about celebrating my birthday with 7ners. She was asking me to decide on some stuff. Suddenly I feel like crying. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I can’t think or want to decide on anything considering my birthday. An inner voice blames me “people are trying to plan your birthday for you so you can enjoy yourself, planning the stuff you’ll like and all you can do is give half-hearted answers.” I don’t know. I’m tired of thinking. I’m tired of worrying that what I like may not be what people like.

And just then some sad song starts playing on my player making things worse…:cry:

Do you know that I can’t stand noisy places? Especially places where there are numerous conversations going on. Coz I can eavesdrop on conversations quite well. No, sometimes I don’t mean to. But my brain just wants to separate each conversation. So if 10 conversations are going on in this room I’m in, my brain will be trying to separate each one. Which makes me go crazy. Sorry, just some randomness.

did you think it was forever?

by

We wanted to go ice-skating on Saturday. Per said there’s a package for four people so Per, James, Tristan (Per’s friend) and I decided on it. Went all the way to Jurong just to find that the ice-hockey competition was going on and that the rink would be closed to the public for the whole day. Worse, we found out that that was the last day of the competition. Imagine how dui we were. T_T

Mum got me a temporary job at her office again. At first, the news came a little too sudden. I know I’ve been complaining about my current workplace a lot, saying things like I want out. But suddenly, I feel attached to the place. I’ve grown to find that the place is not too bad after all. Working with the aunties, learning new skills but not really having the time to improve and master them. Yet I know that this is the chance to move on and earn a little more. After having little talks with Dad and Per, I felt much better. Hence, I informed Reena about me working till the end of this week.

With that, I guess it’ll be a change of scenery come next Monday. Also, James has some freelance lobang for web design. I agreed but really am still not too confident about it. I did warn him that if he were to find my design unsuitable, he can always change it and I wouldn’t insist in getting anything out of it. Afterall, this is my first freelance job.

I talked to Dad about school and stuff. He gave me an idea of what I might want to pursue. Glad I talked to him about it.

again?!

by

Oh yea…I burned my hand again. Corn soup again. But hey, 我学乖了。 This time I immediately went to soak my hand and asked for the cream to apply. So it ain’t that bad. This is like my third time getting burnt. The first was the worse. The whole hand was like going to 烂掉。The second time was with the deep fryer basket. Just a line near my elbow. Half the scab is off. Waiting for the other part to be fully healed then can peel off the scab.

I haven’t blogged for some time. I know there’s a lot to blog about but after days have passed, I feel so lazy and blah to talk about it. I guess I shall list the main events and talk a LITTLE bit.

  • Pwen went back to Australia.
  • Jo’s 21st birthday.
  • I hate customers who look down on our job.

How time flies. Pwen came home to spend one month with family and friends. Now it’s back to studying for her. Per and I went to see her off at the airport.

Jo’s 21st birthday party was held in Downtown East. 7ners got to stay over. Privileged bunch…hahaha. The first night was spent playing games on the Xbox. Some racing game and X-Men Legends. Per and I ended up staying awake while the rest were sleeping. Haha…this is like déjà vu. We were the only 2 awake on the bus trip to Ipoh some time ago. Anyway, we finally got our hands on the xbox controllers.

So we played the racing game. Now this is so damn funny. Trust me, the cars weren’t easy to control. Jab the little control to much to the side, your car turns by A LOT. Bang your car too hard, the wheels come off. No kidding. When the wheels come off, you’re totally stuck. No button to press to get the driver out to fix them back on. So the aim of the game was whatever happens to your car, DO NOT let the wheels come off. The first few moments were tragic. We had to restart the game a lot. Trying to control our laughter in the wee hours of the morning. This was truly where the abbreviation “rofl” (rolling on the floor with laughter) described the total situation. So instead of racing like we should be, our mission ended up being “Whatever you do, don’t let your car wheels come off.”

I think I am like the WORST driver. So reckless. Look at what happened to my car…

 

Let’s just face it. I’m crap at playing arcade games. Which is also why I don’t like playing arcade games. HAHAHA…

The day was spent with Jo unwrapping her presents from us and doing forfeits. Her presents from us were a little tiara and 1000-piece Noah’s Ark jigsaw puzzle. We wasted no time in starting to piece the puzzle since it would hold more meaning if all the 7ners pieced it together. Hmmm…although 7ners was not complete since Pwen and CJ weren’t there.

Night came. The real celebration. No BBQ. Jo’s aunt cooked the food which was good by the way. But Jo was so busy running up and down trying to settle the food and stuff and trying to spend time with her guests which consisted of relatives and friends.

Per and I didn’t stay for the second night.

No big celebration like that for my 21st. Maybe I should spend the whole day sleeping. HAHAHA…just kidding. I don’t know. I guess it’ll be spent like the past birthdays. Once with friends, have a meal together that kinda thing and then once with family whom I have forced to buy me a black forest cake. HAHAHA…

Now for the third point. Recently I served 2 office ladies. They were at the next counter looking at the menu, trying to decide what to eat. I was serving another customer. When I was done, another couple who came later stepped up. I was about to tell the office ladies to come over since they were there first. Before I could say anything, one of them said in an annoyed tone “We were here FIRST.” So alright, I served them FIRST.

The whole time I was taking their order, I could sense this unfriendliness in their tone. The message that was given off was like they think they are so damn superior just coz they are working in a comfy air-conditioned office while we are stuck in a hot and greasy place and we earn a measly pay. What? Don’t treat us like we’re some lowly shit ok. Like we’re some insignificant organism. Whether we work in a posh place or a crappy one, we’re all the same. We’re all HUMANS. Just like a sweeper or a labourer, I wouldn’t look down on them. Without them, who else is willing to do the job? Anyway, the (crap) ladies had better believe in karma. What goes around comes around.

All I gotta say is that this job teaches you patience. Many times I’m like rolling my eyes (which is damn unhealthy) and holding myself back from spitting out some words which ain’t going to sound nice. It’s so fake. You have to act so nice when yet you’re raging inside and you just want to reach across the counter to slap that person.

inner struggle?

by

I did it without expecting that I’ll do extremely great but why then do I feel a little disappointed now? People around me aren’t blaming me but yet I still feel a little miserable. Am I giving myself stress? Or am I just too relaxed that I deserve it? But then again, I’ll feel it’s unfair for someone to blame me.

I always say that it doesn’t matter what you get in the end, what matters is that you tried your best. But then again, is it wrong to feel miserable even after you’ve tried your best (or think you have) and still fail?

What do I want? What am I studying for?

I talked to Dad. Suddenly I felt that at the end of it all, the more I study, the more I feel I don’t know. Don’t know as in not unknowledgable but more like I realise I’m not competant enough in that certain field. Then what am I truly good at? Dad said I have to ask myself then what makes Elisia Phua, Elisia Phua? I thought about it for awhile and realised I couldn’t answer the question. Yea, what makes me, me?

20 years of my life and I don’t know myself at all. Sad case…

happy cny

by

Happy Chinese New Year to all my blog readers! The time to eat and get fat on all the goodies. I’m getting quite sick of eating after 3 days of full lunches/dinners. I bet we have tossed enough 鱼生 to ensure this year’s prosperity. Yea, I NEED MORE MONEY!!! But we all do.

Meeting all my relatives can be quite a happy yet tiring thing to do. I envy friends who are so close to their cousins. Sad to say, Sis and I are not close to our cousins. Mostly coz we don’t want to. There are the ones who simply lack manners. You don’t go to someone’s house and enter their rooms or touch their things without permission. Worse, use your dirty/oily fingers to touch things without permission.

Anyway, this CNY has proved to be a “painful” (literally) one. For the first time, I had mense cramps which refused to go away until today. What luck to get the “ribena falls” during this time. Pimples start popping out. To make things worse, I didn’t really have the time to shop for new clothes so I had to make-do with whatever’s in my wardrobe already. One or 2 pieces of clothing was new but the colour was unsuitable to be worn during CNY. So the whole time, I’m just feeling so unglamourous. Bleargh.

Now for some photos…


My uncle’s dog, Buddy. Year of the dog…his year!

Remember I posted a photo of my cute second cousin, Lee Ann quite some time ago. The little lady is now three-and-a-half and still extremely cute. Couldn’t manage to get a nice shot of her coz when Sis asked her to smile for a photo, she just said “No more photos, I’m tired.” CUTE!!!


Lee Ann, Heather and Uncle Ron. Lee Ann’s idea of a smile is to give the widest grin. So cute!


The nicest shot we got of Lee Ann.

KAT-TUN is going to debut soon! FINALLY! God knows what Johnny-san has been thinking all this while. おめでとう!!!

やばい! I forgot all about the Samsung funclub points. Today is the last day to use up the points!

I just checked. My ripway account has been deleted. So all images in old entries are now broken. Cannot be bothered to re-upload anything. Besides, some images have not been backed up.